Musings of Modern Mamas

It's awfully nice when another blog or blogger recognizes you and -- even better -- says nice things about your blog! We were thrilled to have Kaydee at Musings of Modern Mamas write this lovely post about Working Moms Against Guilt. She told us she hopes her blog "will eventually be a place where mothers from all different backgrounds and beliefs can come together and find commonalities among differences." Very cool concept. We hope you'll check out her blog. Thanks, Kaydee!

My Holiday Wish for You

Moms do too much all year long. Come the holidays, we go into overdrive, trying to meet our own even higher-than-usual expectations , always feeling like we're coming up short.

This Christmas (Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus or whatever holiday you celebrate), I wish for you one simple thing: Do less, enjoy more.

Whatever it takes. Buy a takeout pizza instead of cooking dinner for the fam. Throw gifts in gift bags instead of fastidiously wrapping them with matching bows and tags. Sleep in and let uhubs get the kids their breakfast. Pick up some cookies at the bakery -- don't make them from scratch.

Just give yourself a break! Watch the kids laugh and play as they reacquaint themselves with cousins. Let 'em make a mess with wrapping paper (later you can make them clean it up). If someone offers to take care of the dishes, by all means let them. Soak up the best of the season -- whatever that means for you -- and leave the rest behind.

Please make your holidays as happy for you as they can possibly be. You deserve it, you hard-working mamas!

Do You Believe?

If Sue is Scrooge this Christmas for not exchanging gifts with the adults in her family (and for the record, I don't think she is a scrooge--I think she is sensible), then what I am about to say is probably going to make me look like the Grinch. Or something worse, if there is a worse Christmas-related villian out there.

Here's my Christmas confession: I'm struggling with the idea of Santa Claus. More specifically, I'm struggling with the idea of my son believing in Santa Claus. Should I back away slowly from the computer right now? Forget I even started this post? Nah, because if there is on thing I am (other than possibly a Christmas-related villian), is a woman who says what she is thinking. And what I'm thinking is that this Santa stuff is a real struggle with me.

Why?

Well, I'm not sure exactly. I think it's mostly because I'm lying to my son. I know, I know--"believe" and magic and Christmas spirit and all that. But I still struggle. Trust is big with me. I don't like when people lie to me, and I don't like getting lied to.

Right now I'm going with the whole Santa Claus thing. I didn't really introduce him to the concept--his classmates, mainstream media, and the like were the ones who really talked up the big guy. I just went along. Last year it wasn't such a big deal to me--O knew what was going on, but didn't really "get" Santa all that much. This year, we're going to different outings to check out the big guy, I'm setting up phone calls and video conferences (that video thing is cool--thanks to the girls at Momminitup for cluing me in), and the guilt is creeping up. I'm lying! Santa is not real! (But my O thinks he's really, really cool. And it makes him happy--hence the struggle!)

My guilt and inner turmoil was racheted up a notch this past Friday when we went to O's preschool to see Santa. O was afraid to approach Santa, so I let him hang back. But then when Santa was getting ready to leave, O became visibly upset and started shaking because he hadn't been able to tell Santa that he wanted "a rocket and more Spidermans." My heart just about broke into two.

It didn't matter if he told Santa his wish. He didn't need to get all upset and stressed out about it. He could've just told me, because you know, *I* am Santa! (By the by, I did get O up there to stand close to Santa, tell him his wish, and give the big guy a high-five.)

Maybe I'm taking it all too seriously (I do tend to overthink a little), but I wanted to put it out there anyway, and see if I'm the only Santa Grinch out there.

Do you tell your children about Santa? Do they believe? If so, when did they stop believing? Did they take it hard when you broke the news?

For the record, I'm gonna soldier on with the whole charade this year, but I have some serious thinking to do before next Christmas.

Parting Ways

I've had something that I've been struggling with for some time now, but I've been putting it off for a number reasons. To list just a few: I didn't want to let my friends down, I didn't want to be a quitter, and I also didn't want to make a decision that I may later regret.

But, in true WMAG fashion, I decided to throw all that guilt and doubt out the window and follow my heart. Therefore, I decided to part ways from the blog. With my kids getting older and more involved in school and activities, not only has time become a factor, but I've also lost a lot of passion. Lately, it's been more labored to write a post than something I look forward to doing. And that's a pretty big sign that's its time to go.

I don't feel like this is goodbye, as I know I'll be a regular visitor and possibly a guest blogger on WMAG. But, I wish my fellow co-bloggers, Susan, Tela, and Sara, all the best. And I thank all the readers who have supported us since our beginning over three years ago.

So, with that said... Cara OUT. Here's to a hopeful, guiltless 2010!

Teacher Gift SOS

It's that time of year again--where I start to stress about the perfect gift for O's teachers. I want to show them appreciation and thank them for all of their hard work, but I don't have lots of money to spend. (It's also true that I'm a procrastinator, but I'm also waiting for checks to clear! And more checks to come in.)

So there beginth the brain spinning: Do they want child-created artwork? (Don't they see enough of that?) Baked goods? (What if they hate chocolate?) Ornaments with a picture of O? (Too presumptuous?)

I've searched online, but some of the gift suggestions are just plain weird. I loved the necklace that Sue posted in a Friday Finds earlier this month, but it's just not really O's teacher's style...

What is a WMAG to do?

I do not know! So help me, WMAGs--what do you get your children's teachers? And if there are any teachers out there who would like to weigh in on what they like to receive, that would be great, too!

Love ya--mean it! ;) (not MEANT, like I wrote earlier... Sigh.)

Hello, New York Times Reader

I bet you just clicked over to this blog from the New York Times, didn't you? Yeah, I was pretty psyched to be highlighted as a cheap-o in the nation's newspaper of record. At least it brought you here!

Well, if this is your first visit to Working Moms Against Guilt, welcome! I hope you'll stay a while and get to know us a bit better. We're a group of moms who, um, work and are -- you guessed it -- very much opposed to the guilt that often comes with it.

You might like to read the post that alerted NYT reporter Stephanie Rosenbloom to my Scrooge-like ways. Or check out some of our other recent popular posts on:

• What to do with all the artwork, school papers, etc. that your kids crank out
• Going to ridiculous lengths to get those must-have toys this holiday season
• Whether you're going to vaccinate the kids against H1N1
• How your looks affect the size of your paycheck

There's lots more, of course. Enjoy poking around and I hope you'll become a regular here!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...

in downtown Cincinnati. Heck, it HAS been looking a lot like Christmas in downtown Cincinnati. Two weeks ago I was lucky enough to get invited by Downtown Cincinnati, Inc., to check out all that the downtown area has to offer during the holiday season.

I jumped at the chance to go, because I'm not from Cincinnati originally, and am always curious what a "big city" has to offer in terms of entertaiment and enrichment ANY time during the year, but especially so during the holidays. (Also, quick background: I grew up in a town that was approximately 1 square mile, I graduated with about 60 other kids--59 of which I had known since kindergarden. I lived for things like this when I was young, and dreaming my way out of my small town.)

Anyway, Cincinnati sure doesn't disappoint when it comes to activites during the holidays. Eee-gads! I knew about the Duke Energy train display from a friend and checked that out last year. And of course, who could NOT hear about the Cincinnati Zoo's Festival of Lights? (This year they I hear they have Rappin' Elves.)

But the list of what I didn't know about goes on and on and on and on and on. And most a lot of the fun is free (what this financially strapped working mama loves best!) such the Holly Jolly Trolley rides courtesy of P&G (my child--like so many others--LOVES public transportation), horse-drawn carriage rides from Macy's (another from of public transportation, this time with large horses--double whammy win for O!), a gingerbread display at the Hyatt (and while I enjoyed this one, I have to say O was more into the escalators. And I was OK with that--the further he stays away from the delicate gingerbread masterpieces, the better.)

This weekend, we're headed back downtown for more fun and adventure. O really wants to ice skate (please help me) and every Saturday night there is a Santa who rappels down the 525 Vine Building complete with an accompanying fireworks display. After seeing how excited he got when Santa made a surprise call to him and AmyinOhio's P on Tuesday during the ride home from the Cheryl & Co event, I can't wait for him to see that.

We're also planning to catch a show Holiday Follies at The Children's Theatre of Cincinnati, which I'm sure O will adore, and do some shopping. I really love the downtown TJ Maxx--I always find a good deal on something.

So we'll be down there more this season, and if you're looking for some free holiday fun, I suggest you check it out, too.

Back to the New Normal

Our family has a lot to be thankful for this holiday season, not least of which is the fact that my husband is starting a new job after several months as a casualty of recession-era layoffs.

As you can probably imagine, this means a lot to us. It means less worry, more money, and a generally brighter atmosphere at home.

It also means that we're back to normal when it comes to our daily/weekly routines.

I certainly don't want to paint unemployment as a rosy, relaxing state, but I did become accustomed to having another parent around in the mornings to help get the kids ready and see me out the door on days when I worked away from home. I got used to being able to call my husband at any odd hour to have him pick up groceries or take a child to the doctor. The baby could sleep in and I could pretty much always count on a good meal every evening--one that I didn't have to cook.

Now, we're all up at the same time, scrambling to get dressed, get breakfast and make sure everybody's got all of their gear before Daddy has to run out the door. Then it's my responsibility to get both children to their destination--oldest to kindergarten and youngest to the sitter on the days when she goes. I come back to do my work in an empty house, then pick the kids up in the afternoon, returning home in time to get dinner on the table.

It's the new normal, which actually is the old normal, which feels a little funny since we haven't done it this way in so long.

I'm not complaining, though. I'm thankful for the new old routine. And since I know others are still going through the hell of looking for work, I hope that our good fortune is a sign that things are turning around for everyone.

Tasty Tuesday

Late-breaking Tasty Tuesday post!

Did you know that today is National Brownie Day? Now, that's a "day" I can get behind, especially since Cheryl & Co. invited me, Sue, and some other regional bloggers to come check out their offices and factory in Columbus, Ohio. Normally I wouldn't be able to take advantage of such an offer during the work week, but I had (and still have!) PTO time to burn so I used it to head up with AmyinOHio and our respective kiddos to check out the action. (Cheryl & Co. even provided childcare--seriously aces!)

I'm so glad I did. The company is incredible. So many amazing, nice people who took the time to teach us so much stuff about baking--and right before the holiday season. I had never even heard of Cheryl & Co. before today, and now they have a lifelong fan.

I'll talk more about our time at Cheryl & Co. in another post (and I'm sure Sue will want to share her thoughts), but I wanted to tell you about this sweet deal (pun intended) they have going for National Brownie Day.

Today only, you can get 30% off select items (the President's Picks), as well as 30% off all brownies (you know, for National Brownie Day), plus you get free shipping with code HOL2009.

Check them out--you won't regret it. They aren't home of the buttercream frosted cookie and brownie for nothing. It's good stuff.

U-G-L-Y, You Ain't Got No Alibi (at Work)

As if working moms don't have enough to worry about -- taking care of our families, homes and jobs -- we also have to be concerned about how we look. And I don't mean in a vain, "I want to look my best" way. I mean, we have to worry about looking good to get the edge on a new job or promotion.

In this new depressing-but-true Forbes article, the hard truth stares back at you in the mirror:

Women who advance most at work, studies agree, are more attractive, thinner, taller and have a more youthful appearance than their female colleagues who are promoted less often. ...(T)here is a statistically significant "wage penalty" for overweight and obese white women. ... The obese take a bigger hit, with a wage loss of 12%.

Damn it all, people. I just popped out a baby last summer and haven't yet shedded that extra weight. I better get on the stick, or I might not get good-paying jobs!

Seriously, I hate that you have to bleach your teeth, fix your hair, wear flattering makeup and clothes to be considered "worthy" of the extra bucks. (Forbes helpfully offers tips to "look your best at work," if you think you need it.) But apparently, you do. Bleh. Happy Monday!

Friday Finds - Dec. 4, 2009

Susan's Finds

-- Cool iPhone app to keep kids entertained: Waiting in line sucks. Waiting in line with kids -- a whole NEW kind of suck. If you have an iPhone or iPod Touch, here's a new app that might help pass the time: StoryPlease! It's their stories, your voice, anywhere, anytime.

-- Up for some Etsy window shopping? CharmingPeople is a cute shop you might want to peruse for holiday gifts. WMAG and freelance writer Kim Fernandez makes personalized jewelry for moms and dads and grandmas. I like this one (see pic) for a special teacher in your kiddo's life!

-- Want to skip the stamps on holiday cards this year? Check out Animoto, which lets you quickly and easily create professional-quality video holiday greetings from your own photos, video clips, music and text. There are free and pay options.

-- Moms and Pops, back in the day: Check out this Tumblr site full of people's favorite parental photos from the good ol' days. My Parents Were Awesome shows that even the dorkiest, lamest moms and dads looked awesome at one point in their youth, whether they sported bellbottoms and mutton chops or zoot suits and beehives.

Thank You Note Guilt

Over the years, we've addressed many different forms of guilt on this blog: travel guilt, enjoying-our-work guilt, formula/breastfeeding guilt, pet guilt, extracurricular activity guilt -- we could go on and on. Well, I've got a new one to add to the list: thank you note guilt.

I am all in favor of good manners. They are what separate us from the apes (and rude people). And once upon a time (pre-kids), I was actually pretty diligent and punctual about sending a thoughtful, handwritten note to people when they gave me gifts, did me favors, etc. Miss Manners would've approved.

Now, I am the worst thank you note offender of all time. I suck. I don't think I've sent one since I got pregnant last fall. (If I did, I honestly can't recall.) Miss Manners would blacklist me for sure (in the most polite way, of course).

I keep meaning to write them. Honestly I do. For the kids' gifts, for my own, hell, even for my husband's (I'm ashamed to admit I used to write them for him, too). I know it's so terribly rude not to gratefully acknowledge all those lovely gestures. But "write thank you notes" just keeps slipping down on my to-do list, as things like "get freelance clients to make money" and "feed the baby" rise to the top.

Ugh. I'm so overwhelmed by the many, many notes I should have written at this point, I don't even know where to start. So instead, I'm writing about it here. What should I do? Is there a presidential pardon for this kind of transgression? Help!