No Sleep Till BlissDom

The BlissDom conference for women bloggers is just one week away, and I'm all a-Twitter with anticipation and excitement.

The conference takes place at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville, Tennessee, which looks fabulous. I'm driving and rooming with one of my all-time fave people, Shannan of MommyBits blog fame. We're basically going to spend three days hanging out with old and new bloggy friends, learning blog stuff, getting some awesome goodies from the conference sponsors, and taking a well-deserved break from the everyday, neverending to-do list of working motherhood.

BlissDom has a pretty special place in my heart, because it was at the very first BlissDom conference back in October 2008 that I decided to have another baby. I happened to meet the delightful Kelly (a.k.a Mrs. CPA) and her then-newborn baby Maddie. We went out to dinner with Kelly and Maddie and I got a chance to hold that sweet little baby ... oh Lord, I think my uterus flip-flopped!

I called my hubs the next day and screamed something like "Let's make another baby as soon as I get home!" (much to his delight). Lo and behold, sweet baby James was born in July 2009 (see photo at left).  I should make him a onesie that says something like "This Baby Was Made Possible by BlissDom."

If you're a WMAG reader who happens to be attending BlissDom next weekend, leave a comment so I know to keep an eye out for you. I'd love to meet you in person (or have a little reunion if we've met already). If you're not going, you can follow me on Twitter for plenty of updates (including oohs and ahhs over Harry Connick Jr.'s appearance at the Friday night cocktail party!) and check back here on the blog for a conference recap. Bliss, here I come!

Fun with Facebook for Me

If you are my friend on Facebook, you might not like being my friend on Facebook. Or, at the very least, I might be hidden from your status update stream. Maybe you even reported me to STFU, Parents.

Why? Because a lot of my status updates have to do with my kid. And when I say a lot, I mean most. (I did write that one status update about potholes last week.)

I joined Facebook in late 2006 (gasp!) for work-related purposes, but soon realized it was an awesome tool to keep faraway friends and family up to date on pictures and videos of my boy.

And then I realized by writing status updates and “recording” the little things he says and does, I’m writing down what I would write in a baby book if I ever got my shit act together to do one. A friend of mine took me aside soon after O was born and said “If I have one piece of advice to give, it’s write down all the cute things they say. I thought I’d always remember, but I didn’t. And just the other day my sister asked me ‘What was that cute thing Jess used to say?’, and neither of us could remember.”

What she said stuck with me. So I’m using Facebook to “write” these nuggets of childhood awesomeness. What can I say? I type faster than I write, plus there’s that I can’t read my own handwriting thing. In my defense, I only post updates once or twice a week, and my kid is the most awesome kid in the world who says amazingly funny things. I do share other funny things and talk about potholes from time to time. And I don't play Farmville. Or Mafia Wars.

I can’t imagine I’m the only one that’s thought of using Facebook as a digital scrapbook (even if it does annoy some people). In fact, my friend Sarah actually cultivated all her status updates and wrote a blog post about it over on Charm City Moms (Shameless friend plugs: Sarah writes only occasionally for Charm City as a guest blogger, if you’re into reality TV, you should really check out Sarah’s primary blog, Reality Check. And if you need a photographer and live in Baltimore, you should check out her photography biz. She’s a great photog.) As for grabbing all the status updates, Sarah cut and pasted hers, but I’m hoping there’s an app for that. Or there will be one soon. An app that imports all your status updates instead of the copying and pasting thang, that is, because that app would get USED people—don’t you think?

Does anyone else use Facebook as a digital scrapbook? Are any of my Facebook friends sick of reading about my kid? If you are, please just hide me, don’t unfriend me—that’s just rude.

I'm Taking the Sleep Challenge

Challenges to eat more fiber or walk 10,000 steps a day sound hard. I have neither the energy nor enthusiasm for such challenges right now.

But a challenge to get more sleep? HELL YES, I AM IN.

Like pretty much every mom I know, I am chronically sleep-deprived. Occasionally, I do it to myself. I "choose" to stay up too late catching up on work, housework or maybe a little leisure TV on my DVR -- and then pay the price for days.

But mostly, I just have too much to do and not enough time to do it. I don't get (or ask for) enough help, and therefore have to accomplish everything by myself. While the other members of my household are well-rested and functioning at normal capacity, I am dragging from one item on my to-do list to the next. Never as sharp as I'd like to be. Sometimes just plain dull or forgetful.

I'd love 2010 to be known as "the year of enough sleep" for me. I need to find ways to get help accomplishing the overflow -- and simply scrap those commitments that aren't worth the effort. I need to stop feeling guilty for napping when my sick kid naps after a long night of tossing and turning. I need to make the time to sleep 8+ hours (because I'm unfortunately one of those people who need it), for my own sake and for others who depend on me.

Now I'll just need to wait to start this challenge until my baby gets over his bronchiolitis and my husband gets back from his business trip. Sooooooo tired ...

Some Mojo for Your Workout

The Mojo Coach, Debi Silber, is back at WMAG for another heapin' helpin' of her mojo for moms. This time, she's got some tips to help you with that "work out regularly" New Year's resolution (which you may have already ditched).We all know we need to exercise, but how and when? Here's some great advice from our favorite trainer-to-the-moms. -- Susan

You can always start with walking. You know how to do it, you don’t need to be exceptionally coordinated and all you need is a properly fitting pair of walking shoes. Just getting outside, looking at the changing leaves or noticing the beauty that surrounds you may be enough to keep you motivated to walk. If that’s not enough, you can bring an iPod or MP3 player to listen to your favorite music. There are also some great services which enable you to download walking workouts according to your workout level and needs. You can even download podcasts of programs you enjoy, recordings of audio books, or just use the quiet time as an opportunity to clear your head.

Another convenient option is to use exercise DVDs.  There are so many options available that you are sure to find something that you enjoy.  You can try starting out with easy workouts and then as you progress, move up to longer or more challenging choices.  A great resource for exercise DVDs is Collage Video.  This website includes video clips of each DVD and lots of detailed information about the different videos. You could also check out SwapADVD.com for a great source of (practically free) DVDs. (Netflix subscribers can also get workout videos on-demand and by mail. -- Susan.)

For moms of babies and toddlers, you might want to check out Stroller Strides.  This is like an exercise club for moms where the stroller and your child are used as exercise equipment.  This can be a great way to incorporate time with your kids, socializing with other moms, and exercise!

Once you have an idea of what kind of exercise makes sense for you, the next challenge is finding time to do it. You may work outside the home, have a newborn, or whatever. You can justify or make excuses for anything you don’t want to do. The idea is to find a way to get it done so you can feel good again.

If you work outside the home, you can have a gym bag packed and ready, and head to the gym before work or before you come home. If you feel guilty about taking extra time away from your kids, maybe realizing that the happier mom is, the better she is for everyone else is enough to change your mind. You can also try exercising during your lunch break, taking a short walking break every hour or find an exercise buddy you can walk with and be accountable to.

If you are at home with young children, there are some other strategies you may want to try. Get on that treadmill in your home, pop in that DVD or just tune into your local exercise channel. Just put your baby in an safe area nearby. Your baby may even get a real kick out of watching his or her mommy working out. If not, he or she can use the time to sleep, snack or play. If your children are a little older, give them a special activity that they only get to do while mommy works out. They’ll look forward to the activity while you get your workout in.

If you want to workout outside, there are great exercise joggers that allow you to walk, jog or run with your child safely strapped in. You can also wear your baby in a Baby Bjorn or baby backpack. This adds weighted resistance to your workout while taking away any excuse you may have! Your baby will also love the special time feeling close to you while getting some fresh air. Another option is to join a class for moms and their kids. If that doesn’t work for you, many health clubs offer babysitting for a small fee. Lastly, you can hire a babysitter or find a friend that is willing to take turns babysitting each others children so you can both make the time for much needed self care.

It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you do something. The key is to find a way to incorporate exercise back into your life. If you do nothing now and exercise for fifteen minutes tomorrow, you’re moving in the right direction. What’s most important is that you give your body, mind and soul what they so rightfully deserve.

And as you begin to feel better about your body and your commitment to take better care of yourself, your body will gratefully respond by slowly getting back to being the finely tuned machine it is meant to be.

So take some time to think about how exercise can fit into your life, and take the first steps toward a new, healthy habit and a fit and happy you!

Want Debi to be your Mojo Coach? She's currently offering a free month of the Mega Mojo Membership program (a $49 value!) to WMAG readers. Just put "Working Moms Against Guilt" in the comments when you sign up for her online program, and you'll get your second month free. 

Debi Silber, MS, RD, WHC The Mojo Coach® is a Registered Dietitian with a Master's degree in Nutrition Science. She's a Certified Personal Trainer, Whole Health Coach, Lifestyle Expert - just for moms, speaker and the author of The Lifestyle Fitness Program: A Six Part Plan So Every Mom Can Look, Feel and Live Her Best and From Mom To Wow: Your Ultimate Body, Mind and Life Makeover Guide. Debi’s been branded The Mojo Coach® because for nearly 20 years she’s motivated overweight, overwhelmed and unfit moms to “get their mojo back” through gradual, lifestyle change. Sign up for a free report, 52 weeks of weekly tips and a subscription to Debi’s newsletter Mojo Moments at www.TheMojoCoach.com.

Full Time Again - and It Feels Good

Since I went AWOL from the corporate world last fall, I've been operating my home-based freelance writing business with the help of part-time child care. Basically, I had three hours each weekday morning to get my work done. I optimistically hoped I'd get more done during afternoon naps or after the kids went to bed at night. Ha! Rarely happened. I still had a household to run, and it was constantly staring me in the face.

Fast-forward a few months, and my workload was most definitely FULL-TIME. Three hours a day = not cutting it. I finally made the call -- for the success of my business and my own sanity -- to move to full-time child care last week.

It's a bit of a complicated juggle (as many childcare arrangements are). My husband drops Cassie off at preschool in the morning, along with baby James to our sitter Karen (who drops her son off at preschool and then takes James home with her). Cassie goes home with Karen when school ends at noon, and both kids stay at her house until I pick them up after 5. But some days (depending on how many kids are with her that day), I go to Karen's to watch the kids while she picks up our two preschoolers and brings them home.

Sounds exhausting, but it's totally worth the effort. Cassie's school rocks, and Karen rocks. I value quality education and childcare over convenience or cost savings, any day of the week.

Meanwhile, I've been cranking, people. And I love it! I often work in sweats, comfy on the couch with my laptop and a hot cup of coffee. I take calls, respond to emails, Tweet and Facebook like a madwoman (hey, I'm getting paid for it!) and write, write, write. It's so much fun to have enough time to work (barely), and still have more time with the kids (more than I had when I was working in an office, anyway).

I'm proud that I was able to build my business up so quickly, enough that I can afford the high price of full-time childcare/Montessori preschool and still have money leftover. Infinite possibilities, I tell ya!

Gotta run -- time to head to Karen's and watch the kids during preschool pickup. Such is the life of a WAHM!

A Mom's Gotta Have Cash!

I've seen a lot of people bidding a fond farewell to 2009, glad to see it go. I'm tempted to join them, since 2009 did bring a lot of challenges our way, but when I look back I realize that it wasn't all that bad. Yes, my husband did spend 6 months among the many who were unemployed, but we managed to pull through and end up in a better spot than where we were when 2009 began. That's due, in large part, to some things I did to make sure we were prepared.

I hope you never have to go through what we did, but even if you don't, these tips will help you feel much more secure.

#1 - You Must Have Cash. Every financial advisor will tell you that you need 3-6 months living expenses in the bank, but I think most people see this as an unattainable goal. We assume that it's hard to save that much. Well, when I read the tea leaves and saw unemployment in our future, I got real motivated and was amazed how much I could save, and how quickly. Yes, I stopped putting money into my retirement for a year, but I always knew that I'd be able to feed my family and pay the mortgage. Saving for your later years is important, but you need to be able to eat now.

#2 - Live Within Your Means. It's a total no-brainer, but we almost got in trouble here. I like to complain about how small my house is, and we were close to buying a bigger one with a mortgage that would have stretched our comfort level. Well, I found that a small house feels like a palace when other people are losing theirs. Our mortgage is less than what many people pay in rent in our city, and that allowed us to stay in our home and also be able to continue to enjoy, more or less, our regular standard of living.

#3 - Know What's in Your Medical Records. Even if you're fortunate to have a job, the days are dwindling when people can expect their employers to provide health benefits. Let me tell you that buying insurance on the private market is an eye opener. We are probably in the 95th percentile of healthy families; the worst things we deal with are occasional ear infections and blood pressure medication for my husband. But the kinds of things the insurance companies want to know about your medical history - wow!! It's a wonder ANYBODY gets insured. I went back through our medical records and was surprised at some of what I found - such as a mention in my daughter's file of a minor issue I dealt with in my 20s that has been resolved for more than a decade. I was grateful we aren't the kind of family who goes to the doctor every other week and has a laundry list of ailments. I don't know what the answer is, until and unless health care reform passes. All I can say is that it doesn't hurt to do a regular audit of your family's health records and be aware of what's really there.

#4 - Pay Off Debt When You Can. I'm a huge fan of Dave Ramsey, the financial guru who encourages folks to be totally debt free. Now that we're back to two incomes, we're taking some of the cash I hoarded and paying off cars and credit cards. It feels great!! And as for buying that bigger house? Well, for now the plan is to hold off until I know the economy is more secure, and until we can sink a huge chunk of cash into it. As Dave says, "Cash is King" and I know now, from experience, that he is right!!

May you all have a happy and secure - if not prosperous - new year!

Happy New Year! Now What?

Lots of people are saying goodbye to 2009 like it was a horrible, disfiguring disease of a year. Haven't heard a whole lot of wistful, "gee, we're gonna miss you" farewells to '09.

Personally, I'm fortunate to look back with no small amount of joy. I gave birth to my sweet baby James, and my GOD I love that boy. I also left the corporate 9-to-5 world to work from home my way, freelance style -- something I dreamed about for many years but finally had the stones to pursue.

Not that I didn't have some suckitude last year. I did. I just don't want to dwell.

Because now it's a WHOLE NEW YEAR -- a new decade, even. That's cause for some big, important goals, resolutions, dreams, right?

But I'm not sure where to begin. You see, I have so many things I want to achieve or pursue this year. Big ones. You know, like lose 50 lbs, establish a successful business, spend more quality time with family, buy a bigger house, become uber-organized. Just stuff like that. No big whoop.

Sigh. I don't want anyone to tell me I'm being overly ambitious and setting myself up for disappointment or failure. I know I want it all, and I want it now. I need to prioritize what I can and want to achieve in 2010, or I may end up fretting the new year away and getting nowhere.

OK. So what are you hoping to do this year? Any big plans? Am I the only one shooting for the moon?