Today, I’m posting a reader’s recent email (anonymously, with her permission — we’ll call her “Lisa”) because it’s real, honest and begs for your encouragement. Tips, insights and advice are welcome, too.
I am a full-time (okay, a little more than full time) working mother, and my husband is a full time working pastor. We have three sons - ages 5,3, and 1 (well, add a couple months onto each of those).
My problem is when I get home after a busy day. My husband who (depending on the day) has been with the kids (on Tuesdays and Fridays) while I’m at work looks depressed and, dare I say almost “pouts” when I arrive home from work. I am kind of um, tired and disgusted by his attitude, to which I tell him (rather forcefully) to leave and go to work. He then tells me that he doesn’t feel free to leave, because I am angry. I tell him it is NOT up to him to “make” me feel happy, and, that it would be really cool to me if he left and just went and did something he liked.
Why are men such babies? If they do help, they whine (whether consciously or unconsciously) and moan about it…. anything other than what they want to do. I just struggle with the fact that I’m trying to spend time with each one of these little human beings and really know and love them individually, and get the house done, cook, laundry, etc… all in a span of five hours or so. Gosh, am I freaking insane?
Then, people around me wonder why I am short tempered etc… or act upset with my kiddos. My fuse is pretty short, and I’m working on lengthening it, but I am so frustrated with life right now that I could just throw all the crap away and start over.
Also adding to the stress is that we moved to our current location five months ago… away from 16 years of friendships and our family… for my husband’s job.
I also left a near-full scholarship to a private school after attending 1 term so that we could move. I am trying not to regret my choices, and I know transitions take time, but I’d like to go home and continue on with my once comfortable and supported life!
I didn’t know if ya’ll had any resources to help moms with organization, anger management, or to teach me how to be okay with Cheerios on my floor? I just need help, period. I feel so out of balance these days.
P.S. I told “Lisa” we do have resources for working moms listed on our site, including books, magazines, websites and blogs. Feel free to check those out for yourself!