Life is Always Changing

With the summer months, it seems that many of us have been busy living life.  I didn’t even realize it had been so long since I had done an update!  So I thought I would take a few moments to post about how life has been moving in my household.

I have had a fabulous opportunity to work from home all summer long!  Like I said before, the change in my job was a hard blow when it happened, but it has been a great blessing for me in the process.  When school was about to let out, I had gone through the great debate of how old is old enough for my daughter to be alone at home.  She is 12 and mature for her age, but I still had that small nagging feeling that I didn’t quite feel right leaving her to be by herself when my older kids had to work.  Luckily, my new position has allowed me to work from home all summer.  While I am working, I am locked up in my room most of the time doing conference calls and handling my workload so I don’t spend the entire time interacting with my daughter – but it does allow her a little feeling of independence by being responsible for herself – yet, she knows I am just a room away if she really needs something.  I periodically check on her, but she has been doing wonderful with helping around the house, fixing meals when she is hungry and keeping herself entertained when I am busy.  For me, it has allowed me to still be productive, but get the extra moments with her while guiding her on things to do throughout the day.  It has been a great blend for both of us!  I highly recommend looking at different work options if you aren’t completely happy with your current work-life situation!

With the end of summer comes the beginning of a whole new life in our house.  We will be kicking off our new adventure with a 6-day Caribbean cruise the first week of September!  What is even more awesome than the fact that my kids and I get to spend a fabulous week together on this adventure is that my children all pitched in to make this happen!  The oldest ones all paid for their own plane tickets and cruise costs.  We planned it jointly as a family.  In fact, it was the kids that had the idea to begin with!  They worked hard.  Saved the money.  And all succeeded in, not only paying for their costs, but saved money for their spending money as well.  We are all excited for it to come!

In addition to that, my three oldest have all enrolled into UC and begin college classes this month!  I am very proud to be a successful, single mother of these kids that have made it through high school and into college without getting caught up in bad decisions.  They have no kids on the way.  They are not into drugs.  They are not out drinking on the weekends.  They all have jobs and they are all moving towards greater things.  And after we return from the cruise, they are all planning on moving to their own places by the first of the year.  This will be a huge life change.

All of these years, I have had my time devoted to multiple kids and getting them to the place that they are on their own.  Within months, life will change.  It will be just myself and my youngest daughter.  We will move to a smaller place and it will be time to learn how to be a different mom.  It took a lot of energy to focus on getting the three oldest through their teens and into their 20′s successfully.  Now, I will be focusing only on one child just beginning the teen years.  I will have to rewind my thinking to start the teen years again and go through all of the normal events that come with being a teen.  Grocery shopping will be different.  Cooking for only 2 will be different.  Chores will be different.  Our home will be different.  It will be an interesting adventure with mixed emotions.  I am happy for this new chapter in everyone’s life.  I am a little sad as well to watch the others go.  I’m actually happy to still have my youngest around so that I don’t have to go cold turkey with no kids! hahaha  But this change also makes me think of what life after kids will actually be like.  I’m not so sure I will like it.

So my question for everyone is – do you have an identity beyond “Mom”?  Who will you be when your kids are no longer at home?


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Becky
Becky Gruebmeyer has been a single mother of four since 1998. Her children, ranging from 13 to 25 years old, have been her focus while meeting all the challenges that come with being a working mom.
Becky
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Becky

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Comments

  1. Wow, Becky! That is a lot of change. And a lot to be proud of. I’m so happy for you.

    To answer your question, my identity as “mom” takes up a lot of my mental, emotional and physical resources right now. But I also have my professional pursuits, my social life (when I have a spare moment), and p-l-e-n-t-y of dreams and wishes for days when I have more time to go after them.

    I think our identities shift throughout our lives, and that’s a natural thing. It’s all about what we do with our time and how we react to change.

  2. Great article! Having gone from corporate America to stay at home Mom, I can totally relate. I think that has helped me form an identity beyond just “Mom”, and appreciate our family from a different perspective. It certainly isn’t easy!

    Thank you!!

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