Baby Steps Back to Work (Guest Post)

By Heather Stegal

heather-stegalOnce you’ve found out you’re pregnant and the initial excitement has subsided, it’s time to start thinking about preparing for your maternity leave of absence from work. I’m a firm believer that’s it’s NEVER too early to start preparing for your leave both literally and mentally.

(Side note… I’m also a proponent of securing your childcare as soon as possible, since there may be a long waiting list and you just never know what may come up. I had an in-home childcare provider in place when I was only three months pregnant. A month before I was scheduled to go back to work, she called me and said that she was not going to be able to watch my daughter. You’ve got to be kidding me!)

Here’s are some helpful tips I use with my life-coaching clients to ensure they have a seamless transition out of work and a smooth ride back into work.

BABY STEP #1: Preparing for your leave of absence.

  • Contact your HR department to file all the necessary paperwork. They should be able to give you all of the information that you’ll need to know, i.e., how much time will be paid versus unpaid, short term disability info etc.
  • Come up with a plan on how long you can realistically take off work. Will there be help at home, will you be able to afford the unpaid time etc.
  • If you’re thinking about going part-time or are interested in flex-time options, now is the time to initiate that conversation with your employer. These things might be an option. It’s best to know ahead of time what your future at work post-baby looks like.
  • Start organizing who will be taking on your job responsibilities while you’re on leave. Allow plenty of time to train them in your position.
  • Childcare, childcare, childcare! I mentioned this before, and I’ll say it again: Be sure to have your childcare plan in place. Ask other parents for referrals and decide where your daycare should be located. Some parents prefer the daycare to be close to home. For others, close to the workplace makes more sense. I had a client that decided a facility closer to home would be preferable because of her husband’s work schedule (he would be doing the drop off/pick up). However, she would have given her right arm to have been able to take her lunch break with her newborn. Now is the time to start discussing who will be dropping off and picking up your child. The more details you and your partner have ironed out, the smoother the transition will be.

OK, so things are getting squared away at work. Now it’s time to starting thinking about what kind of mother you want to be. How will you balance being a new mother, working and still finding time for yourself? Start envisioning how life after baby will look for you. What do you want your life to look like? How will you make that vision happen? 

BABY STEP #2: Baby has arrived!

First, call your short-term disability company to let them know your bundle of joy had arrived.

Soon, visitors are going to want to meet your new baby–how exciting! Here are a few tips:

  • Be sure to say “no” if you’re too tired to entertain, clean the house or just aren’t in the mood. You just had a baby–it’s ok! Ask visitors to come in groups (if they know each other) so you can get the house ready, tell your labor story, and put baby in a cute outfit once, as opposed to multiple times.
  • Take people up on their offers to make meals, watch the baby while you get out to the store, or take a walk or shower. Most people sincerely want to help and aren’t just giving you lip service. Let them help!
  • This is a major transitional time in your life; new baby, hormones, baby weight, sleepless nights etc. Although very rewarding it is also very stressful. Remember that your partner is also going through the transition as well.
  • Discuss realistic expectations with your partner. What do you expect from one another? Write out the household responsibilities and come up with a plan. A lot of potential arguments can be avoided if you have a solid plan of action. There are many resources online to utilize that are wonderful.
  • Be prepared to have your action plan go out the window. You’ll have to make adjustments as need be. As much as we can plan, you NEVER know what may come up. Be flexible!

Some mothers find an overwhelming urge to NOT want to go back to work. You might be one of those mothers. This is a critical time to talk to friends, co-workers or family members who may have gone through a similar situation and/or can relate.

BABY STEP #3: Heading back into work.

  • Discuss your expectations and responsibilities with your boss and coworkers. Can you still take on all the extra little things you use to do at work? Are you going to be the one that stays home with the sick baby? How much vacation/sick time do you have? Can you make up time?
  • Find a support system of people who also have gone back to their careers after having a child. Maybe there’s a co-worker that can relate.  There are many support groups online, the resources are endless. It’s also important to be self-aware of any signs of post partum depression or anxiety. Although most are aware of this serious issue, it can be hard to talk about. Be sure to reach out for help/support if need be.
  • If your company has an EAP (employee assistant program) utilize it. EAPs offer free support (paid by employer) in terms of work/life balance, counseling etc.
  • If you are nursing, make sure that you and your employer arrange for a comfortable place to pump. A smart phone with white noise and a photo of your baby may make this more comfortable.
  • Try to set work limits. If you take work home set a specific start and end time and honor that. If you need to leave at a certain time in able to pick up your child plan to leave at that time!
  • Set aside time for yourself every week. Choose a specific day or time to: read a book, sit in silence, workout, go to a movie, catch up on your favorite TV shows etc. A happy mom = a happy baby.
  • There are many potential reasons that you are going back to work (income, self identity, significance of your career, etc.) Physically write a list of the most important things about your career. Revisit the list when you hit a rough patch.

Remember: The days are long, but the years are short.

Heather Carpenter Stegal, CPCC, is a certified life coach who specializes in coaching working mothers. After a 7-year training/education career in the health food industry, she found coaching was her true calling. Since 2008, she’s been doing just that: coaching clients toward a fulfilled, happy life. Heather currently resides in Boston with her 2-year-old daughter, two dogs, a baby in her tummy, and oh yeah, her husband, too.


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GuestContributor

GuestContributor

We love sharing expert advice, and we often feature guest posts by specialists in child development, work/life balance, women’s issues and other topics of interest to working moms. If you’re an expert and feel you have something to offer our readers, contact us with your credentials and pitch. Please keep in mind that we prefer original content as opposed to re-posts.

Comments

  1. The back to work transition is definitely HARD! Wish I had some support during that time…Has anyone ever tried a life coach in general??

  2. Get a fabulous wardrobe to go back to work!

    http://www.fashionsyourway.com

  3. I get a lot of feedback from my clients that having a coach to work with them during this transition made all of the difference. It’s so important to have someone to talk to discuss the overwlming emotions that a lot of us face during this time. If anyone would like to know more about coaching I’d love to chat!

    Heather@workingmomlifecoach.com

  4. Heather, I am so glad that I “found” you on here! My sessions with you last year greatly impacted my family and career (in a positive way, of course). Thank you again for all that you do. I honestly don’t know where I would be today without your guidance.

  5. Danielle says:

    Any advice for a mom who is going back to work but will be on a third shift schedule? Both I and my partner work thirds and I’m really worried about going back to work.

    • Hello Danielle, First off CONGRATS!

      It’s common to get anxious as the back to work date approaches… sometimes it’s helpful to join a group (whether online or in your community) of other working mothers that are experiencing the same thing around the same time so you don’t feel as though you’re going through this alone.

      Now as for the 3rd shift let’s brainstorm on how that could actually be a good thing… for starters how cool that while you’re at work your baby will be sleeping (hopefully ;)) so he/she won’t even know you’re gone! Also this gives you more time to see your baby since some part of the day you’ll be home and able to play and love on the baby! 3rd shift offers some unique possibilities that other shifts don’t. Since your spouse is also working 3rd shift be sure to have a solid plan of who’s going to sleep when etc. etc.

      I tell this to all parents… it can be helpful when you’re struggling with working to remember why it is that you are working. We work to provide for our children and give them a great life, we are also wonderful role models!

      Hope this puts you in a better perspective! If you want to talk more you can email me at:
      heather@workingmomlifecoach.com

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