Dear Pottery Barn Kids

by Love, Play 11 Comments

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Sorry my kid peed in your store last night. The one at Kenwood Towne Centre in Cincinnati, Ohio, that is.

You see, she’s not quite 3 yet and still in her first few months of potty-trained life. While her bladder is quite capable of holding large amounts of pee, sometimes when she’s out and about and going to a bathroom seems so inconvenient, she just lets go. No warning. Just a growing puddle of urine on the hardwood floor in the cute little girl dollhouse and bed set section of Pottery Barn Kids.
I know, I know — I should’ve immediately alerted the store’s staff of our “mishap” and offered to clean it up. That would have been the responsible thing to do. But instead, like a coward, I fled with my pee-soaked kid in tow (a half-eaten cookie still in her hand). We ducked out the entrance where no staff people were at the time. Oh, the shame.
I’m sure it didn’t take you long to discover what we had done. Maybe you thought it was apple juice? Or maybe you knew exactly what it was, and who had done it, and you’re sending us a bill for the clean-up job right now? We deserve it.
One thing I can promise you: We won’t set foot in your store again — at least, not until the kiddo is old enough to hold it for sure. In the meantime, we’ll have to settle for quietly perusing your website and, when at the mall, walking quickly past your store like we’ve never seen it before in our lives.

Yours truly remorseful,

Susan

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Susan Wenner Jackson

Susan Wenner Jackson is the cofounder and editor of Working Moms Against Guilt. She lives in her hometown of West Chester, Ohio, with her husband, two children, and their dog.

11 Comments

  1. That’s hilarious! I had a friend who’s son was trying out walkers, and even with a diaper on, somehow peed all over the display model. She actually told a worker at the store, but only after walking away quickly and perusing the rest of the store before she felt bad enough to tell someone. They were young and completely disgusted by it (the peeing – not the delay – my friend did not admit that it happened 30 minutes prior), but what can you do? I still laugh about that when I see those walkers displayed – or any kids’ displays! Gotta love them!

  2. Ha Susan I love it! Now I know why Pottery Barn Pillow shams cost 60 bucks apiece–the “loss prevention.”

    You’re in good company. My husband recently bailed from a Starbucks in our Posh Cherry Creek mall here in Denver with a peeing 3 year old, too. In the moment, your survival instinct is to flee. Thanks for a good laugh.

    (Karli, another WMAG)

  3. Oh my GOD! Well, you’ll still be telling that story 20 years from now! So funny. I’ll never look at “apple juice” stains the same again.

  4. Aww…I did this to my mother when I was 3 – she still reminds of the humiliation 26 years later 😉

  5. LOL

    The Potty Training words is a sore subject ’round our house right now.

  6. Oh dear… I’m sure they’ve been through it before, and I’m sure they’ll be through it again.

  7. We Moms can get into the “shopping zone”. Once at an upscale nursery’s landscape office when I was 8, I told my Mom I had to ‘potty’ for nearly twenty minutes. I just couldn’t break her trance before there was a horrible, thisisn’thappening splattering sound, and sure enough, right there in front of Mom, landscape architech, God and everyone, I’d lost control.
    From the shock on her face, she’d obviously lost track of how many times she’d said “just a minute sweetie”. We now go back and shop together, and laugh. Sort of. But at 48, I still can’t go back into that office, and you can’t convince me that they don’t recognize me :-/

  8. You’re not alone. My son ALWAYS has accidents at PBK. Without fail, every single time we’re in there…

    Except I really don’t feel bad about it. The people that work there? Total snots.

  9. Susan, can not stop laughing this is great. My grandson is 2 1/2 and we are doing the potty training thing and he went on the the slide in pre-school. It was his first day and he made a great impression. Not to alarm you even more but I am the General Manager at this store and this happens more than you may think. You and your daughter are more than welcome to come back any time and be my special guest. Apple juice I love it,I will have to use that one the next time my little guy slips up. Wishing you a wonderful fun filled day. Please stop by and visit after all we are a Kids Store. Cheers Debra

  10. I’m so glad everyone got a good laugh out of our embarrassing shopping experience. While I did not laugh at the time, I am now able to chuckle without too much remorse. And many thanks to Debra, the store’s general manager, for her gracious comment! It’s good to know we aren’t banned for life and PBK understands these things happen.

  11. You should have cleaned it up. No one deserves to clean up your child's urine.

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