Birth Order Woes

As the oldest child, I am glad to say that my parents only tried once to duplicate the perfection they found in me resulting in my younger brother. That said, I have no idea what it would mean to be The Second Child.  And honestly, I never put much thought into it…until I had MY second child.

Let’s start from the beginning.  My husband and I just had our first child, a boy! He was creamy, smooth and perfect. His baldness and blue eyes just enhanced his perfectness. As he grew, he was relaxed in his approach to the world. Going out to eat? Not a problem says the first born. Want to hang out a friend’s for hours with me? Let’s do it says the first born. Want to take me on a train ride three states away? I’m already packed says the first born. He was smiley and handsome and smart and awesome.

Then one day he wasn’t a little baby anymore. I remember the day vividly, the day I looked at him and saw BOY, not baby. I turned to the hubster and proclaimed my desire for another perfect baby. Two months later, we were well on our way.

The day after my birthday of my 28th year, she came! Red faced, crying, baby number 2. Baby acne, cradle cap and constant screaming for food, lovely baby number 2. Outside of infanthood woes, I was not prepared for life with second born child.

At this time, Boy is 7 and Girl is 4. For reasons that I am placing on birth order, I cannot figure my daughter out! Her current debate is what is fair in this world. Case in point: Boy being born first is not fair. Boy being taller, reading, riding bikes, and on and on and on is not fair. Since the Girl discovered the word fair, life has not been fair.

Looking back at my life, I have not befriended many second born children. Weird, right? I am starting to think not. One of the recent addition to my friend bank is a second born. She understands my daughter in ways that I fear I never will. Friend sees the meltdowns and tantrums that Girl throws around like candy and she gets her. It kind of freaks me out. As this wonderful, amazing, challenging and beautiful Girls grows up, she will have the security and love of her older brother. She will continue to find the world as unfair as displayed to her by her older brother. She will push my buttons and want to never to leave my side (I hope!) and she will continue to boggle my mind.

For all the first borns out there, I commend you on carving the path for your siblings. For all you second borns, please send me your handbook! My sanity with my second born may depend on it!