Longtime readers of WMAG may recall my “other blog” that I created and maintained for about a year and a half, before abandoning it last fall: Mr. and Mrs. Get Fit.
That blog chronicled my husband’s and my efforts to drop our excess pounds and become a fit, healthy couple together. And we did it. I lost about 60 pounds and felt so great about my body and my health. Jay lost 40+ pounds and actually reversed a fatty liver condition that threatened his long-term health. (Look how cute we were back in December 2008, at right!)
Then I got pregnant with my second child. With that pregnancy, our newly acquired fit habits slowly receded as pregnancy cravings took over. I gained about 30 pounds during my pregnancy, and actually continued gaining after James arrived last July. At this point, I don’t know exactly how much I weigh (our scale is packed away in a box somewhere) but I know I’m the fattest I’ve ever been in my life.
It wasn’t the fit of my clothes or the way my body feels or even a million health reasons that convinced me to get back on the “fit” wagon. No, it was seeing this recent photo of myself (at left). Who is that lady? I thought when I saw it. I didn’t even recognize myself. Damn if there isn’t something so unforgiving, so harshly realistic about a photograph — it’s different from what you see in the mirror. I can’t explain how or why.
At the time this photo was taken, I was toasting one of my very best friends in the world, Michelle, after her wedding to all-around good guy Tom. As her matron of honor, I was so happy for her and all decked out in a fancy new dress, hair salon “up do,” the works. Yet, no amount of fanciness or makeup or professional photography could hide my overweight body. (Still, I did give a pretty nice toast, if I do say so myself.)
For months, I’ve known that I was putting on weight, eating too much, exercising too little, and liking my body less with each added pound of fat. But while juggling everything I’ve got going on, I simply couldn’t face the prospect of getting healthy again. It was just too much for me to deal with.
Now that we’ve sold our house, moved into our new one, and gotten my writing business up and running successfully, I have no more “big” excuses to maintain this weight-gaining lifestyle. I ordered a print of that photo, which I plan to post on the refrigerator. I will look at it and remember why I’m eating salad instead of ice cream and walking instead of watching The Bachelorette: because I want to be someone I recognize (not to mention like who I see) in pictures and in the mirror. I want to be able to say, “Hey, that lady is me! And I look gooood.”