Guess What? I Got Fat — Again

Longtime readers of WMAG may recall my “other blog” that I created and maintained for about a year and a half, before abandoning it last fall: Mr. and Mrs. Get Fit.

That blog chronicled my husband’s and my efforts to drop our excess pounds and become a fit, healthy couple together. And we did it. I lost about 60 pounds and felt so great about my body and my health. Jay lost 40+ pounds and actually reversed a fatty liver condition that threatened his long-term health. (Look how cute we were back in December 2008, at right!)

Then I got pregnant with my second child. With that pregnancy, our newly acquired fit habits slowly receded as pregnancy cravings took over. I gained about 30 pounds during my pregnancy, and actually continued gaining after James arrived last July. At this point, I don’t know exactly how much I weigh (our scale is packed away in a box somewhere) but I know I’m the fattest I’ve ever been in my life.

It wasn’t the fit of my clothes or the way my body feels or even a million health reasons that convinced me to get back on the “fit” wagon. No, it was seeing this recent photo of myself (at left). Who is that lady? I thought when I saw it. I didn’t even recognize myself. Damn if there isn’t something so unforgiving, so harshly realistic about a photograph — it’s different from what you see in the mirror. I can’t explain how or why.

At the time this photo was taken, I was toasting one of my very best friends in the world, Michelle, after her wedding to all-around good guy Tom. As her matron of honor, I was so happy for her and all decked out in a fancy new dress, hair salon “up do,” the works. Yet, no amount of fanciness or makeup or professional photography could hide my overweight body. (Still, I did give a pretty nice toast, if I do say so myself.)

For months, I’ve known that I was putting on weight, eating too much, exercising too little, and liking my body less with each added pound of fat. But while juggling everything I’ve got going on, I simply couldn’t face the prospect of getting healthy again. It was just too much for me to deal with.

Now that we’ve sold our house, moved into our new one, and gotten my writing business up and running successfully, I have no more “big” excuses to maintain this weight-gaining lifestyle. I ordered a print of that photo, which I plan to post on the refrigerator. I will look at it and remember why I’m eating salad instead of ice cream and walking instead of watching The Bachelorette: because I want to be someone I recognize (not to mention like who I see) in pictures and in the mirror. I want to be able to say, “Hey, that lady is me! And I look gooood.”

13 thoughts on “Guess What? I Got Fat — Again

  1. I was thinking about you today- I must be psychic. I can relate to gaining a ton of weight during the second baby's first year. It was so stressful freelancing with a fussy, high maintenance baby and no childcare.

    I just M+Med my weigh through writing projects. I weighed more on his first birthday than I did the day before I delivered his 10lb rear end!! (And I was already heavy before I got preggers)

    The good news is, I am finally on the right track (thanks so much to being inspired by your blog). Its taken almost 2 years, but I'm down about 40 lbs and could really stand to lose another 40, but it is OK if it takes another 2 years.

    You can do it- this is a journey. I'd love for you to start up Mr. and Mrs. Get Fit again- it is inspirational.

    The attitude I've taken lately is… "it is what it is". We get where we can get, we're honest with ourselves and just like saving a few bucks every paycheck, we slowing build up a fitness back account.

  2. My spelling and grammar mistakes there produced some fun puns.

    You get what I mean though.

    Let's do it!

  3. Thanks, Dana. Good points, all. I appreciate the support.

  4. Headless Mom says:

    Good luck. I know that you worked so hard the last time so I KNOW you can do it again. All those changes are rough, but seeing it and making the change is the first step! Love ya lady!

    PS-are you going to NYC this year?

  5. I know I can do it, too (since I already did it before). It's just that I'm disappointed in myself for putting myself in the situation where I HAVE to do it all over again. Oh well.

    @HeadlessMom – YES, I will be there. You?

  6. Wow, your blog couldn't have hit more home! It honestly feels like you just wrote this blog for me instead of helping to motivate me. I've also been noticing my big ol' booty gaining and gaining and I'm also the biggest I've ever been in my life. But here is the worst….I've never even had kids! I've never been pregnant and I should have time to get my butt in gear. I was just emailing Kendra telling her all the things I'm going to do so that she can be my little reminder but getting a recent picture of myself that is unrecognizable is one of the best ideas yet. I hate that my weight is the one constant thing on my mind and I'd love to never have to stress over it again but I know it is a journey and I look forward to you going on the journey as well. Oh hey, I'd love to meet you at Sharon Woods anytime after work! You bring the kids and I'll bring the dogs and we can walk it out!

  7. I am so with you! I saw pictures of myself on a vacation last week and was like "WHAT??!!" I don't look like that fat lady. I signed up for WW online today. I can't get to meetings right now (unless I can get one in my bldg, which I am working on), but I wanted to start ASAP! Good luck to us both!

  8. Susan, I KNOW you can do it. I know.

    I've gained back a bit – about 15 pounds – and it sucks mightily. But you are a strong woman with so much on your plate – be true to you, be kind to you.

    Maintenance is harder than loss, I'm convinced. It's a lifetime effort – but you are worth it.

    I cannot WAIT to see you at Blogher this summer. Save me a seat at lunch. PLEASE.

  9. Hi… this struck me as well… I've been listening to the audio book Women, Food and God. I highly recommend it. It helped me start to understand why I lose weight and regain it… And why diets won't work. It makes a lot of sense I think — might be worth a read (it isn't that long) or listen (read by the author and she's a hoot).

  10. @Jesy, 3xmom, Carmen — thanks for your support and encouragement. I already feel lighter (at least in spirit).

    @Maureen — I'll have to check out that book. Thanks for the suggestion!

  11. AndreaDaleTTP says:

    I was in exactly the same position after my second child was born and managed to fight that weight back down (Weight watchers, home program is my friend….)

    Sending you healthy vibes and the stubbornness of a three year old to persist!

  12. Amy Horowitz says:

    Hi- I ran across your post on WMAG. I totally know how you feel. I am about to be 37 next year and have a 2.5 year old. I gained 60 lbs! My husband has just be throught the same journey as you- he has lost several inches and 60 lbs. He looks amazing and has inspired me to do it! All I wanted to say- WE can do it!!! i have started doing crossfit as my work out and lo carb as my diet (not no carb) I also gave up diet coke! Keep posting status!

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