Lots of people are saying goodbye to 2009 like it was a horrible, disfiguring disease of a year. Haven’t heard a whole lot of wistful, “gee, we’re gonna miss you” farewells to ’09.
Personally, I’m fortunate to look back with no small amount of joy. I gave birth to my sweet baby James, and my GOD I love that boy. I also left the corporate 9-to-5 world to work from home my way, freelance style — something I dreamed about for many years but finally had the stones to pursue.
Not that I didn’t have some suckitude last year. I did. I just don’t want to dwell.
Because now it’s a WHOLE NEW YEAR — a new decade, even. That’s cause for some big, important goals, resolutions, dreams, right?
But I’m not sure where to begin. You see, I have so many things I want to achieve or pursue this year. Big ones. You know, like lose 50 lbs, establish a successful business, spend more quality time with family, buy a bigger house, become uber-organized. Just stuff like that. No big whoop.
Sigh. I don’t want anyone to tell me I’m being overly ambitious and setting myself up for disappointment or failure. I know I want it all, and I want it now. I need to prioritize what I can and want to achieve in 2010, or I may end up fretting the new year away and getting nowhere.
OK. So what are you hoping to do this year? Any big plans? Am I the only one shooting for the moon?
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7 thoughts on “Happy New Year! Now What?”
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I had a great 2009 too… and finally felt like my husband and I were hitting our stride. He's poised to get a promotion, I love my job. We finally took the plunge and took advantage of the down market and bought a bigger house, while achieving another goal of owning a rental house (our old house.) I've lost 40lbs and felt empowered to kick another 40. I had a few ducks to get in a row, and then it felt like everything I worked so hard for was finally going to gel together.
Then two weeks ago we found out our beloved pediatrician was a serial child predator. Not just the odd inappropriate touch, but years and years of photographs and video of brutal attacks when he could steal odd moments with kids AND during supervised exams. It's been national news. It seems my daughter was a victim during physicals and UTI exams that I was too focused on keeping her calm to notice he went too far. It never crossed my mind- and until the prosecutor told me that type of exam is rarely required for pediatrics, I had no idea and I still can't find a resource that lists what is appropriate and not appropriate so I can spread the word to other parents out there.
We had no idea, our trust is shatter and our community is distraught- 100s of kids victims.
Now, none of anything seems to matter. The bigger house, the career… for the first time in my life I feel guilt about working- because though every counsellor says that none of this is our fault, I still think that just maybe if I hadn't been preoccupied, maybe I would have seen more or felt more… maybe I could have put up with our last pediatrician's difficult scheduling… maybe I would have read more… I don't know.
Sorry to be such a bummer- but I never ever though anything like this could possibly be an issue in my childrens' lives. This was our doctor of 4 years who we had long talks with about everything, who we felt we knew better than our daycare providers or teachers. My husband and I are both educated professionals, and many of his other clients who have children that are victims are prison guards, cops, teachers, nurses, even his own staff.
In 2010, I will be reevaluating my entire existence to try to make some sense of how to balance keeping my kids safe and knowing everything that goes on in their world with not raising a pack of sheltered, helpless whiners who need me within their eyesight to function.
It might mean selling some things, it might mean I stay home. It might not. I don't know- but 2010 will be a year of thought, of healing, of new beginnings.
Wow, Anonymous, that's a hell of a thing. I'm very sorry to hear that it happened. I hope you are able to get justice for your daughter, and find peace within yourself this year.
Wow,indeed, Anonymous. I sincerely hope you can find some peace in reestablishing your life in light of this sad development. I understand as I too struggle with how do I keep my kids safe from the world while still teaching them to be independent in it. Thanks for your courage to post and to remind us to all be a little more aware of what's happening to our children around us.
Wow, anon. I'm so, so sorry! I feel like I can relate, in a small way, because we've had a string of convicted sex offenders move into our neighborhood, the most recent being a person right at the end of our street with three counts of rape of a minor. Lovely! So much for letting my kids run around the neighborhood like I used to do when I was a kid. I'm going to have to balance better, too, keeping a very close eye on the little ones. I remember my mom having all sorts of freedom to do stuff around the house, etc., because we were having a blast outdoors with our friends. As for me, any time the kids are out, I will be out, too.
I'd thought perhaps we'd stay in our sweet little house a bit longer, but all of this is creating a New Years Resolution to find a new house in a better neighborhood – at least someplace where landlords don't buy up property made cheap due to the economic downturn an then rent the houses to all manner of scum.
I thought 2009 was a great year, but it's because I had a little boy too… I realized it was super stinky for most… I'll just try to take the good with the bad!
Anon – I can empathize with you. My husband and I just found out that a member of our family molested his sister, his (future) wife, his daughter and probably hundreds of others over the last 50 years. The only thing that we have to cling to is that he never even met our young daughter – and you can be sure he never will now!
Everyone who goes through something like this has to reassess what kind of life you want to lead and what kind of world you want your kids to experience. There are so many hard questions about how much faith you can have in your fellow man and how much trust you can give those around you without making your kids paranoid and misanthropic.
I am a survivor myself and want to find ways to empower my kids and not force them into victimhood mentality out of caution… It's hard.
And on top of this recent news, I can be counted of one of those not sorry to see 2009 end. With the economy threatening so many around us, we struggled as well. Our family lost several integral members to cancer and other causes this year.
I am trying to be grateful for all the wonderful moments of 2009 and focusing on positive thinking and a can do approach to 2010!
To New Beginnings and not Punishing ourselves for the old.
Congrats on the new baby and being able to work from home! That is so awesome! For this year I am hoping for the same as you pretty much. But I just started my blog so I am looking forward to what 2010 has in store for me with that. Looking forward to reading my on your blog!