Judgmental_Women_WMAG

Judgmental Women

Judgmental women are the biggest middle school girls ever. Many are older, set in their ways, and love to gossip. And cook. And if you don't cook, OMG.

This blog post is a response to a blogger who viciously attacked a post I wrote a year ago. As a busy mom, I’m not sure what I wrote yesterday, but this lady stalked content from way back as a means to promote her own blog, at my expense. 

“Speak up for people who cannot speak for themselves. Protect the rights of the helpless. Speak for them and be a righteous judge.” Proverbs 31:8

This lady did not speak up for someone who could not speak for herself. I can speak just fine. And I’m pretty sure other working mothers can speak for themselves too. So, judgmental lady, try focusing on orphans and widows. They need a voice, and those who oppress them may need some judging. 

Judgmental women should judge themselves

I can’t believe she doesn’t like to cook.

For realz? I thought middle school lasted a mere three years.

But it doesn’t. With women, middle school lasts FOREVER. And ever. Women are the ones stuck in Neverland, never growing up, never maturing, and never learning it’s not OK to bully other women. Forget this happening to young girls only; older women, who should know better, can be bullies, too.

Judgmental women are bullies

That’s what being judgmental is: bullying. You think you’re better than other people? Maybe you’re judging a woman because she prefers having a career to your not having a career. Maybe you’re judging a woman because she works from home and you have to go into the office. Aren’t there more important things in the world than why Sally wants a career versus canning vegetables? Or, gasp, why Marge wore yoga pants to pick up her kids at daycare?

Maybe Sally saw her mother struggle as a single mom growing up and vows to never let that happen to her. Or maybe Sally needs to support her elderly parents who must live in an assisted nursing facility, and they can’t afford to pay for their own care.

And maybe Marge is wearing yoga pants at daycare pickup because she has spent the past seven nights at the hospital with her mother and hasn’t showered in as many days. Or, maybe Marge has arthritis and literally has to exercise to ward off the chronic pain, and she stopped at the gym after work and before picking up the kids.

You don’t know, really

You never know what other people are dealing with or the adversity they’ve been through.

Whether that be a person you pass in Walmart or a minivan on the road, you don’t know what they are individually dealing with. We are all surviving this world and the evil in it, and the last thing anyone needs is hate and inaccurate judgment.

Especially from within our own gender.

Guys don’t act like that. OK, well, maybe there are some dramatic times from some of them, but overall, they aren’t wired like us. They may have a confrontational moment, but the next minute they’re all like, “Wanna go to Top Golf and grab a beer?” And it’s done. Emotions gone.

Judge_Working_Moms

Chill, be happy, and don’t judge

Why can’t women just chill? Be happy go lucky. Like Rain-X, letting petty things roll off us like raindrops on a slick windshield. Just stop judging. It’s simple. Worry about yourself more, and less about what others are doing, or not doing. You are not responsible for how others choose to live their lives. And you will not be the one sitting on a throne judging womankind one day. You will be judged by how you judged and who you judged and why you judged.

“Do not judge or you will be judged.” Matthew 7:1

I don’t believe Bible verses were intended to be used to bully people. There’s only one judge, and I’m positive He’s not a blogger judging working moms and their cooking routines.

Judgmental_Women_Working_Moms_Guilt

Women should know better

I dream of the day women stop tearing each other down and start lifting each other up. I witness it daily, women stepping on other women to get where they want and what they want. Or throwing another woman under the bus just to make herself feel better or look better in the eyes of others. It’s safe to say I have slim pickens when it comes to role models paving that way for me. Instead of whining about that, I proclaimed to want to be the woman that paves the way for my daughter.

But, uh oh. The #GrandmaNutritionNazis judged me for wanting a career because they feel it’s more important I “get organized” and “focus on feeding my family.” Are you telling me they never ever get takeout and have never fixed a frozen pizza for dinner? Come on, sis. How about you worry about you, and I’ll worry about me.

#TeamNice #StopJudging #GrandmaNutritionNazis

Do you find yourself dropping the gavel on the choices of other women? Here's why you should think before you judge.

30 thoughts on “Judgmental Women

  1. Why are you bothered by someone’s opinion of you? If you are confident in the way you are living and raising your family, you shouldn’t feel guilty. Chill. Taking the time to talk about it, shows you are not very confident with your choices and by name calling, you are displaying the very behavior that has upset you.

    1. Mrs. C, it wasn’t an ‘opinion’ of me. It was a judgmental gang-banging. I don’t feel guilty. Cooking still sucks, and my feelings likely won’t change on that. Ever. Taking the time to talk about this brings to light that women don’t support women. I get upset over puppies getting kicked. A mean judgmental lady gang-banging my blog? That just disappoints me, and it’s a disrespect to working women everywhere.

  2. If it was the article I believe you are referring to, your response is a bit over the top. I did not take it as judgemental or a vicious attack. Just a different opinion on caring for our families. Again, if you are confident in your choices, why give it a second thought. No one can make you feel guilty, unless you are already carrying guilt yourself. Let it go. Oh, and we are to judge, but we are called to use discernment and Word of God as our measure for judgement

    1. Mrs. SC, let me quote your comment on my original blog post about cooking: “This is sad. Ladies, get yourselves organized. Get a system of recipes and feed your families. Instead of giving your best to everyone else, put your families first.”

      Hmm, Mrs. SC. I think you kind of like to stir it up. I mean you DO like cooking, which involves stirring. Look, I’m a writer. That’s my trade. I write stuff. I write about not liking to cook. I write about mean ladies who troll blogs.

  3. Hard to believe Mrs. SC and her stirring. AND the original comment. It seems that people who don’t agree with a blog should JUST STOP READING THE BLOG. Negativity need not be written really. People amaze me.

  4. Actually , it’s Mrs. SC. I am not trying to stir any pot. I am a woman with grown children who worked through their childhood (8 of those years as the sole proprietor of a salon). I still made an effotrt to provide healthy, homecooked meals and keep a clean home. I am not judging, I am speaking from personal experience. We are not feeling guilty because of other’s opinions. We are feeling guilty because in our hearts we know we give our best to our careers, bosses and even complete stranger. Our families get our leftovers because we have little or nothing left for them at the end of the day. If your are feeling convicted or your feathers are ruffled over someone else’s comments or opinions, that is your conscience or as I like to call it, The Holy Spirit. God bless, Ladies. I’m out.

    1. Mrs. SC, you do realize this blog is working moms against guilt, right? You don’t know any of us personally, our relationships with the Lord, our organizational skills, etc. So don’t tell us what we should be doing or that our families get our scraps. That’s just not accurate. It’s mean. Now, me and the Holy Spirit are gonna grab some breakfast and discuss my path for the rest of the day. Many blessings to you and your family.

  5. I really hate baby boomers. They seriously have ruined this country and yet they believe they are amazing. They created convenience food. The worst part is they stand in judgement of everyone today when they should really be judging is themselves. She must carry quite a bit of guilt for putting her kids last. Perhaps she should spend her remaining years attempting to get redemption from her kids.

    1. Thanks, Donna. The thesis for me is that women should support other women. It’s disappointing when behavior is otherwise. What a privilege it would be for a woman to serve as a mentor to another woman. Versus being a judge.

  6. I used to get all uptight about this stuff, but the older I get and the more kids I have, the less time I have for others’ opinions and unsolicited advice. I did, however, want to take the time to say brush them off, mama! Keep on rocking it. 😉

  7. I have been dealing with horrible judging, undercutting, knit picking, self righteous, poor excuses for women who claim to be Christians and go to church every time it opens. This article was written to me. I finally am out of that job situation and I have learned That these grown women are worse than teenage girls. They have never grown up and they still maintain the mentality of a child. Then they teach Thier own children that it’s ok to belittle and bully others and the cycle continues. It takes a strong and courageous woman put a stop to the behavior and say this is not ok to treat me like a nobody.

  8. Thanks for bringing this utter crap to life. It’s amazing how women treat each other. What astounds me even more is the fact that these a*holes are PROCREATING. That means I’m trying to raise my 2 daughters right & non-judgy & kind, but they’re up against little a*holes that may turn out to be carbon copies of their a*hole moms. I hope that’s not the case, but it’s disheartening to think about.

  9. Here here! People who judge and troll like this clearly are bored with their own lives. Some of us have more important things to do than judge and shame others. We should support each other, not break others down to make ourselves feel better.

  10. Name calling and making assumptions about someone with a different viewpoint fallls in the judemental category to me. Ladies, I assure you, I lead a very full and happy life. i came up with a pretty easy 30 day meal and grocery system. If you would like me to share it. I am not a troll and I am not trying to be unkind. If you would like some pointers for homecooked, healthy meals, just and i share it and mentor anyone interested.

    1. So, you weren’t making assumptions when you told us to ‘get organized and put our families first’?

      And didn’t you tell me to let it go yet you keep coming back to justify the judgment?

      It’s totally OK to agree to disagree. What’s not OK is attacking someone. Or being judgmental. Or just being plain mean for no reason other than to make yourself feel better or superior.

  11. First, I’d like to say Mrs. SC sounds like a judgmental *sshat. I am actually a stay at home parent. I love cooking and experimenting with new recipes. I hate, however judging other women and moms. We all just do the best we can. Cooking is fun for me. It can be exhausting though, especially if it is something you don’t particularly enjoy or have a nac for. I think moms who sew are awesome. If you can whip your children up nice, fun clothing for a fraction of the price without supporting giant name brands, good for you. But I’m not about to beat myself up because that isn’t my thing. To Mrs. SC, get off your high horse lady. Your unsolicited “advice” is a thinly veiled attempt to make yourself seem important. The whole point of this blog is these women do not want or need your “help”. They are making choices that are different than the ones you would mange, that does not mean you need to fix them.
    My only concern with this post is the negative stereotyping. I don’t think it was intentional, but do you realize that you asked women to stop tearing each other down, and then essentially called the entire gender “catty”? I know plenty of men who are gossipy and judgemental. These are not words that are usually associated with men however, and so we tend to write the behavior off, or assign it to another personality trait. I think the first step to building women up is ceasing to perpetuate tired tropes about how “women be crazy”. Just a thought. Keep fighting the good fight!

    1. Basfulapplesnapple,

      Thanks for your comments. I am a mom who sews! I spent all afternoon one Sunday preparing my kiddo’s Halloween costume. Now, I couldn’t make clothes from scratch – not my skill level. And just because moms don’t like to cook doesn’t mean they don’t feed their families. That’s ludicrous. I actually would rather clean the toilet than cook. Just me. And yes, I do think women are catty, but after spending a work weekend as the only female on a project, I can attest that men can be just as catty. So humans have flaws. Men just seem to let things go a lot easier than women. We analyze it to death. I’m speaking purely from a work environment view on most of my working mom things, and where I work is male dominated and not female-promotion friendly. Thanks again for reading and for your feedback.

  12. I’m so sick of the mental warfare it really brings me away. Really bizarre world series live in. And just for reference I don’t bow down to no b..ch I don’t do fake and no your not better than me because you have a guy and kids. Selfish spoiled rotten women.

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