Whether we tote them along on a quick trip to pick up paperwork or we invite them to “Bring Your Son/Daughter to Work Day,” most of us have our children in the office at least a couple of times each year. I always enjoy watching my co-workers’ reactions to the presence of rugrats in the workplace. Here are the 6 most common.
“Come to Auntie, Kids!”
This co-worker usually is a lady, often with out-of-town grandchildren she misses terribly. Her desk is filled with candy and treats. She wants to hear all about stuff like school and ballet class and is quick to hand out paper and markers in hopes that your little ones will make pictures she can hang on her bulletin board. Stopping by her desk is the equivalent of this:
“Kids? What Kids?”
Maybe this co-worker hates kids. Maybe he just doesn’t feel like pretending to be interested in yours. Whatever the reason, he has a knack for getting on a Very Important Phone Call as soon as he hears the pitter-patter of little feet. He’s all
“Oh… How Nice. Kids.”
Usually this is your supervisor. Or the “Kids? What Kids?” person who didn’t manage to escape quick enough. They either don’t like kids, or they don’t really care, or they’re on their way to a meeting and don’t have much time; still they feel like they need to stop and act interested. Trouble is, they aren’t fooling anyone. It’s tough to be convincing when you look like this.
After a few minutes of conversation with this person, you’re like:
Yayayayayay! Kids!
These guys hear high-pitched voices coming off the elevator and go
That’s because they are little more than kids themselves, and having real kids around gives them a chance to get out the finger rockets and whoopee cushions and, in general, do this.
“There Oughta Be a Rule Against Kids”
This dude thinks there should be an office policy against children visiting. He may not say it in so many words, but the glares and pointed throat clearing make it clear where he stands. This is what he looks like when your kids show up.
Societal norms and fear of losing his job are the only things keeping him from doing this:
“Keep Your Kids Away from My Toys!”
This co-worker has a desk that’s a total kid magnet, decorated with action figures, cool toys and other kid crack. The sight of his workspace makes your child go
But, unlike his cousins, the overgrown kid co-workers, this dude (or gal) doesn’t want to share. As soon as little hands reach for his limited edition Yoda figurine he’s all
And God forbid your child actually touch the Lego Starship Enterprise!
Disclaimer: I don’t think it’s OK to let kids touch other peoples’ things without asking, and I do respect that a serious collector might not want children playing with items that, while toys, are probably worth some serious cash. Still, it can be humorous to watch when someone else’s kid grabs the miniature Daleks. Right?
So what do you think, WMAGs? Do you recognize any of these? Did I leave any out? Comment and let me know which co-worker kid reaction is your favorite.