I was sitting in a meeting when suddenly, it hit me. Tears sprang to my eyes, and it felt like someone punched me in the gut. I suddenly missed O more than anything in the whole wide world. I wanted nothing to do than to sprint from the conference room, run out of the building, and go get my boy.
I don’t know what caused the sudden burst of emotion, but mang, it took me by surprise. I’ve been able to rationalize to myself for a long time the reasons O must go to daycare and I need to go to work. I thought I had come to peace with it, as much as I could, anyway.
But lately, it’s been harder, and harder, and HARDER to drop him off in the mornings. Yeah, his clinginess doesn’t help matters, but my boy is growing up, people. He just turned two, and he’s blossoming (can I use that in reference to a boy? How about bulldozing?) into quite an incredible young man. We can hold mini-conversations now, giggle uncontrollably over a case of the hiccups, and pal around like we never could before. Mom and son. Son and mom. Us against the world.
I enjoy my job, and I really like the people I work with, but they don’t hold a candle to my son. And sometimes, I want to spend more than just the weekend conquering the world with my two-year-old. I want to spend every hour, every MINUTE setting up train tracks, reading books, and holding drum and kazoo concerts for our dog and cat.
So when I read tweets, twitters, and blogs about how SAHM moms can’t wait for their children to head back to school? I want to throw things. And it makes me sad.
I understand, I do. I probably feel like I want to spend every waking moment with my son right now, but if I actually had the chance? My tune might change. Or it might not. I’m not sure. But right now? I sure do miss him. And I wish I had endless days and nights to spend with him.
A vacation might just be in order.
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