Mommy Stalker

I’m shy. Ask my friends and people I interact with on a daily basis, and they’ll tell you that statement is a bunch of poo. But I assure you, I am. Or I was.

Before I had O, I’d keep to myself in most public settings. You wouldn’t see me chatting it up at the grocery store or trying to make small talk with someone I didn’t know.

All that has changed. I love being a mom so much—and it’s something I know so little about—that I want to talk to all other moms with kids around O’s age and find out all there is to know about their babies. And I want to share any information I might have that could help them. I also want to talk to moms with older kids—to learn what’s to come. You could say I’ve become a little bit of a mommy stalker. But that doesn’t mean I’m good at my new second job—because I kinda suck at small talk, but still I make feeble attempts.

The other day I stalked a mommy in the grocery store. She had a cutie a few months older than O, who was singing in the grocery cart, munching on a granola bar. First, we had a brief exchange about how old her son was, and she told me that the granola bar was the third thing he had eaten since they entered the store. I shared my O’s non-eating ways. After an awkward laugh, we parted ways.

Then I spotted my new mommy friend in the bread aisle! She was reaching for one of the new 1/2 loaves of bread from Klosterman.

I ran up behind her and almost knocked her down as I grabbed for a loaf.

“I’VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR THESE,” I practically shouted.

And I had. I’d been longing for a smaller loaf of bread for months—O and I never seem to get through a whole loaf before it goes bad. I even thought of calling or writing bread companies and telling them about my super idea. And then I spotted a billboard for the new Klosterman 1/2 loaves a few weeks back (Was someone was in my brain?). I was thrilled! But I had yet to find any of these 1/2 loaves in a store.

“So have I, I saw the billboard a few weeks back,” the mom said, as she backed away from me. (She saw the billboard, too!) “But that’s all they seem to have.”

I looked in my hand. I was holding a 1/2 loaf of Cincinnati Rye. I’m not even sure what Cincinnati Rye is, but I’m pretty sure I don’t like it. Ewwww. I dropped it back on the shelf.

“Well, I don’t want that,” I said. “Is that all they have?”

“I think so,” she said. But then she pointed to a display behind me. “Oh wait, there they are.”

“OH WOW. THANKS SO MUCH,” I said—a little too exuberantly—as I grabbed up a loaf. And that was the end of our conversation. We pushed our carts and went our separate ways.

I’m glad I’ve become something of a mommy stalker—this mommy stalking episode got me a cherished 1/2 loaf of Klosterman whole-wheat bread. But there’s lots more mommies to stalk out there—and lots more to learn. So watch out. You might just meet me in the grocery store or mall. I promise, I don’t bite.

4 thoughts on “Mommy Stalker

  1. Mommy Bits says:

    That is awesome Tela… Just remember, It’s all about baby steps.

    I am actually going through the opposite experience. While I was once very outgoing, now that I am a mom I am much more introverted (except for online).

  2. I think many bloggers come across more gregarious than they feel. Not sure why, someone ought to do a profile and do a study or something.

  3. Hilarious! I have to confess I’m a mommy stalker, too. And what’s funny is my husband has become a mommy/daddy stalker, too! Whenever we’re out and he sees other people with small kids, he’s always asking how old they are, striking up conversations. Neither one of us did that before we had our son.

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