Someone should really tell us ladies before we get married that we’re signing up for seven more hours of housework a week. That’s what a new study from the geniuses at the University of Michigan reports.
And maybe that someone should also warn us about the even more housework we’ll have to do once we have kids. Can I get a “No duuuuh”?
Basically, if you’re the typical working mom, you have your full-time (or part-time) job at the office, plus a part-time unpaid gig at home as chief dishwasher, laundress, housekeeper, and short-order cook. I’m definitely in the typical camp. How about you?
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22 thoughts on “Moms Do More Housework, Says Another No-Duh Study”
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Yup; i’ll join you in that typical camp. What’s more depressing is as I scurry around after getting home from work – tidying up after dinner (that I cooked), making lunches, getting kiddo ready for bed, brushing teeth, etc., hubby sits on the sofa and watches tv!!!! Hmpfh.
love your little “housework is evil” pic – where did you get that? i would love that as a pin or a little placard to hang on the fridge or wall!! 🙂
Beth B.
I am so totally in the typical camp. My husband is pretty good about helping to clean if I ask, but most of the time, it’s all on me to make sure stuff like a good thorough cleaning gets done on a fairly regular basis. Argh.
Oh, and P.S…
We had a maid service for awhile. They sort of sucked, but at least they cleaned my kitchen floor. Thanks to preschool tuition and an economy that sucks every extra penny I’ve got into my gas tank, the maid service got cut along with all other “non-essential” expenses. Bah!
Bethtrue, I just linked the image to the AllPosters page where I found it. You can frame the poster and put it up where your hubby’s watching TV!
Don’t get me started. Don’t EVEN get me started.
While my husband does his “share” of cleaning, I pretty much stopped cleaning the house some time ago because……..why should I? I work 40 hrs a week. I run errands, I grocery shop, I plan the meals for the week, I do all the laundry. The carpets are simply going to have to clean themselves. Ditto the shower and sinks. My house might be dirtier than yours but I just don’t care anymore. I’m not going to spend all my “free” time scrubbing surfaces that just get dirty all over again as soon as I leave the room.
I do my fair share of housework, but so does DH. He usually gets the kids ready for bed and cleans up after dinner. I do all the cooking, but only because I am better at it and I REALLY enjoy it! If my DH sat on his butt while I did all the work I would also boycott cleaning!
About a year ago I announced that I was fed up cleaning bathrooms and I was going to hire a maid, DH started cleaning them! 🙂
I do most of it. Cooking, shopping, cleaning. Jason is a big help, sometimes he needs to be reminded to help however. Really I do the majority of the work, but I work part time so I feel that I should bear more than him, and I am a control nazi.. so I like having the bills and shopping.
Bathrooms, laundry, dishwaser.. those I would HAPPILY give up.
I am in the typical camp too. We had a house keeper coming once every two weeks after I had our second. It was awesome. She did all the things I hate to do – mop, windows, etc. Once I went back to work for some reason I thought I could do it all again…. I sure miss Jenny…..
I am a control freak, too about the bills and shopping, like just4ofus. I would gladly give up the cleaning! Dh doesn’t help much, I get the 3 boys, 15, 11 and 5 to help alot! We are flipping a house and when we get home from working there, DH showers and sits. I, however, clean our house! We had a house keeper until DS11 needed braces. Supposedly a maid is a non essential! I am thinking of using my taxrebate thing to hire a maid for a year!
My single best friend who really wants to get married said to me that one of the “blessings” of being married is that she would have someone help out with the chores around the house. Bluh! Yeah, RIGHT, I told her!
I informed her that being married means that she’d do twice as much as she’d have to also do the husband’s share – of laundry, of picking up hair in the shower, cleaning, etc.
I finally got around to cleaning my daughter’s sink that was totally gross. I can only imagine what she has gotten from that! I am thinking that there is NO way to work full time, be a mom (full time job), be a wife (another full time job), and run a household (yet, another full time job.) So, I think that I have finally decided to get a small cleaning person. Not really a small person, but just a small amount of help. It’s crazy, I had a cleaning lady before I even had a kid, now why do I think that I can do it all and do it well? It just creates so much anxiety on the weekends, that we don’t do anything fun as a family because we have to “get stuff done.”–ugh…
I just wrote about this too. You can see my post here: http://www.dirtandnoise.com/2008/04/tell-me-something-i-dont-know.html#links
And to think that we thought we were getting ahead. Harumph.
Oh my…don’t even get me started! Let’s just say this, I concur with ‘bethtrue’.
Makes me angry.
I agree. Its really hard. I am working, finishing up school, and then the whole lot of housework. Sometimes i just get fed up. My husband is a nice man, have all the feelings about me working hard, and helping, but they never turn into action. HE has to be reminded time and again what needs to be done, and then he takes so long to do it, that i already did it, to finish up for the night.
I go to job, classes, then do house work in evening, and usually sit up nights, to study. i am tired and extremely exhausted.
I have tried boycotting housework. doesn’t work for me. if i dont do it, nobody doers. and then i reach a point when i cant stand it any longer, and spend all my free time ( days) making everything perfect.
And moreover on top of that, i ahte how people expect you to be a perfect wife and mother. I have it especially challenging, coz my in-laws visit a lot, and my MIL who supposedly is aperfecyt house wife has lots of suggeztions for me. its like Everybody LOves RAymond situation, except that its just not funny. I strongly think working moms have it much tougher than Stay at home moms. Consider this, at points i have a major breakdowns, and i think of getting a divorce just to get out of this mess. atleast it would be a little less work. Well tough luck!!!
My heart goes to all of you
Not only does my husband NOT help with housework (unless you count bagging up the garbage every few days and throwing it on the back porch, then MAYBE remembering garbage day every few weeks), but he actually causes MORE work for me due to his carelessness. Just an example, he made a pizza last night. Cheese and crumbs left all over the floor and counter, left the wrapper on the counter, left the pizza cutter (crusted with pizza) on the counter so I had to soak it before I could scrub it clean. Then left his plate with pizza crusts and glass with melted ice in the living room, where it got knocked over by the cat, so I had to clean THAT mess. GOOD LORD! When does it end? I just want to leave him every day. I’m seriously thinking about quitting my job (though I’m the breadwinner) and filing bankruptcy on my bills and just staying home with the baby and making him tough it out on the finance thing. Even if we have to move, etc. Who cares. I’m so miserable some days. Why not be only miserable about being poor, instead of being miserable about scraping by, doing all the work, and hating my job?
I was searching the internet, hoping to find some hope and info about managing my time being a working mother, but all I am finding is miserable moms and wives, who are dragging their feet in misery.
I think you all need to take a step back and relax. Do you really need to dust and be so articulate about that soap scum? No.
To Kristine: I would imagine that most of the mothers expressing their frustration are not talking about a little light dusting. The frustration is about feeling the need to create a safe and orderly home for a child and having to bear the bulk of the burden of that when both parents are working. It’s hard not to feel belittled and abandoned when the person who should love you the most sees you toiling away and chooses to ignore it in order to maintain his own comfort level. We’re not talking about optional cleaning. Dishes need to be washed (to avoid bacteria growth), clothes need to washed (pulling dirty clothes out of a laundry pile for a child is not okay), the floor needs to be swept (choking hazards are often found in surprising places), toys and other objects pulled out throughout the day need to be put away (tripping hazards), etc. These are things that need to be done every day. Someone needs to do them. Why should the wife have to plead for help with what is not her responsibility alone?
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