New Mommy on the Block

Introducing Reine Solomon, the new mommy on the block at Working Moms Against Guilt Blog - a supportive community of working mothers.

Hello, fellow mommies and readers of various other persuasions! I’m so excited to be a part of this awesome blog and community of working mothers.

Since I’m the new mommy on the block, I’d like to start by introducing myself.

I am a 28-year-old mother of two wild little ones and I also work as a senior copywriter for an international hotel company. Balancing being a wife, mother and career woman is very difficult…in fact, I’m fully convinced that there is no such thing as a solid “balance” when it comes to work and family, but I’ve learned to be semi-OK with that fact.

reine-solomon

Some days, I feel good about how much quality time I’ve spent with my children. On those “I’m a good mom” days, I am there to feed them, bathe them, play with them, witness one or more bowel movements and kiss them goodnight. There’s always a bit of chaos in the house, but hey… that kind of thing comes with the territory when you have two kids under the age of 4.

On those precious days, when I’m covered in bits of food and my arms are sore from carrying around a combined weight of 70 pounds, I worry that I haven’t done my due diligence at work.

Should I have gotten a head start on that big project?

Should I send an email to my team about that big meeting tomorrow?

Although being a mother is obviously the most important priority in my life, I also really enjoy my job. I love the creativity, the adult interaction and the excitement. I find myself dealing with a constant battle of loving going to work…and feeling guilty that I DON’T feel guilty about being there sometimes.

Of course, the traditional working mom guilt rears its ugly head when one of my kids gets sick and my ever-supportive mother ends up being the caretaker instead of me, but I’ve gotten very used to coping with that feeling. The fact that I love my job and feel awful for actually enjoying time away from my kids is the guilt that I have no idea how to cope with.

Shouldn’t I be jealous of the mother who is posting on Facebook about how she got to take her toddler to Story Time at her local bookstore, cleaned her house from top to bottom and cook a wholesome dinner that was ready just in time for her husband to get home from work?

I’m not (on most days).

I actually feel very fortunate to have a career that I love. I became a mother for the first time just two weeks before my 25th birthday. I was still finding out who I was in my career, in my marriage and in my life in general! I never expected to become a parent at that age. I originally planned to wait until (what I thought was) a more “reasonable” age of 30 or 32.

I guess fate had other plans…and I’m glad it did!

As a working mom, guilt is my biggest, most fearsome foe. It’s always there, looming over me like some sort of rain cloud waiting to erupt at the slightest provocation. Whether it’s my daughter having a rough time saying her goodbyes in the morning or my son running a fever, the guilt comes raining down on me, and I feel like the world’s worst mother for not spending every waking moment with them.

I combat the guilt the only way I know how: my kids. I make every moment count.

We get silly, we make messes, we go see kids concerts, and we laugh until we cry. Making the precious time I do spend with them special is my weapon against my extremely resilient guilt, and it’s time all working moms find their weapon of choice so that we can all defend ourselves against our personal guilt-monsters!

9 thoughts on “New Mommy on the Block

  1. Stephanie Tsales says:

    Great first post Reine! I can relate to everything you wrote – especially comparing yourself to friends on FB that don’t work. That was hard for me around Christmas where everyday I’d see kids who went to see Santa, or went to Christmas tree farms – meanwhile my daughter was at childcare and I was at work.

    1. Thank you so much for reading! And I’m so glad you could relate. Christmas time IS the hardest time! I think the holidays are when I wish I had more hours in a day!

  2. Great post! I’m happy to see your additional creative outlets.

  3. Hey Reine! My goodness how the kids have grown!! What a beautiful family! You know I can too relate to how you feel. I look back to when I was raising my children and I honestly don’t know how I did it! I am kinda in a different situation now, my youngest son and his two children (my sweet grand babies ages 6 and 3), after going through a divorce which he has custody, have moved back home and I suffer terribly from guilt. I still am working but the difference is I am now 47 years old and I am tired!!! I am tossed between the grandparent role and a mother role. So anyway, I think it is awesome that you have this blog where mothers and even grandmothers can chime in! Good for you!

    1. Wow! It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate but you are handling it with grace and strength! My mother had me at 41, so being raised by an older mother, I can relate to how difficult it may be for you to adapt to having such young children around at this stage in life. Best of luck to you and your family!

  4. Reine, I love your first post! It’s so great to have you as part of the new and growing WMAG crew. Can’t wait for more good stuff from you as you go along this working mom journey.

    P.S. “witness one or more bowel movements” cracked me up. I totally know what you mean 🙂

  5. I am so very proud to be related to you!!!! Amazing work & you are my HERO!

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