I tend to think that I am a pretty good problem solver. I have no problem taking things head-on, digging my heels in and rolling my sleeves up when life wings a problem my way. I can juggle multiple balls, some of them are of the daily variety, others are stress inducing fireballs. I like to think that I give pretty good advice, sometimes unsolicited. I’m an only child, aka a bit of a know-it-all. It was my thought that my posts here would be in the vein of “things I’ve learned…” or “here’s a great tip!” or “try this, it worked for me.”
I’m not throw-in-the-towel overwhelmed…but you can go sell crazy somewhere else, we’re all full here.
I’ve always said that I don’t like chaos. I don’t like feeling out of control; I don’t like the unknown. You’re going to get some of that…and when it hits, I let my head spin for a minute before pulling up my bootstraps and moving forward. Well ladies (and gentlemen), I think I’ve reached my limit. Just admitting that feels pretty damn good.
Usually when I start to feel chaos creeping in, I slow down, grab a pen and paper and take an inventory…er, I mean, make a list of all the crap I have on my plate. This helps me to prioritize a bit and also forces me to see it all, and honestly, start to deal with it. There are some things that land in our laps that we can manage, eliminate or at least make a little easier or more tolerable. There are other things that arrive like a 2nd grader without his ADHD meds, riding an elephant while playing a banjo and they make it known, quickly and forcibly, that they are there to stay.
Here’s my inventory:
I am a mom to a child with ADHD, ODD, Sensory Processing Disorder and Anxiety. This challenges my patience daily, requires doctors appointments, trips to the pharmacy, counselor and school each week, as well as how’s-that-for-a-kick-in-the-teeth hits to my Health Savings Account. Make no mistake- he is my favorite little human on this great big planet and I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. But it’s not easy.
I am divorced and now re-married to an amazing man- and I still pinch myself every day! When we met, we lived in two different cities, two hours apart, and due to our children, careers and commitments, we still reside this way. I’m a married single-mom. This requires scheduling, packing, lots of gas, lots of phone calls/texts/FaceTime and road time, not to mention just plain old missing my husband!. It would be a strain if we let it be…but we make it work. In addition, we are currently in an 18 month court battle, asking the county court to grant a relocation for myself and my son. Lawyers, court dates, LEGAL BILLS, Ex’s….you see where I’m going here?!
For the last three years, I have shared duties at my job with another woman. As of yesterday, she’s entered into retired bliss and I’m left with a workload built for two. I’m training a co-worker, on top of that workload, who will assist in half the capacity as my previous co-worker. I am thankful for my job, my co-workers and my supervisor…but it’s a stressful transition.
Add in selling my husband’s house, spring yard work, grocery shopping, keeping the house clean, soccer practice/games, my own weight loss/get healthy commitment, attempting to spend time with family and friends…This was the inventory when my Fitbit went off this morning, alerting me to the dawn of a new day, the opportunity for success, the dodging of raindrops and the promise of drinks with old friends after work. It’s never it though…there’s always more to come. Mine came in the form of a phone call from my biological half-brother (I was adopted as an infant and have contact and relationship with my biological family). He told me that our 90 year old grandmother had a massive stroke and was hospitalized and not doing well. So we regroup…again. The after work errands will live to see another day and instead I’ll head to the hospital for a few hours before meeting the girls. I never make dates with my girlfriends so I was holding tight to my evening plans.
What I’ve realized as a mom is this..
It’s okay to admit that you don’t have all the answers.
It’s okay to ask for help.
It’s okay to sleep in and throw your hair into a ponytail.
It’s okay to go store-bought instead of homemade.
It’s okay to defrost dinner instead of “prepare” dinner.
It’s okay to let an email response wait until tomorrow and catch a King of Queens rerun with a glass of wine instead.
It’s okay to let the lawn grow tall and weeds spout up.
It’s okay to say no.
It’s okay to write a blog post where you admit that you’re normal…and overwhelmed.
I wish I was ending this post with “So here’s what I did….and it’s all better now!” or “5 easy steps to making life easy”….but no….I’m overwhelmed and normal and really okay with that.