By Marci Fair
As a working mother with four children, the term “mommy guilt” had upset me for years. When I was working, I felt guilty about not being with the children. When I was with the children, I felt guilty for not working. It was a silly, useless cycle that nevertheless felt very real.
At the height of my frustration with it, when my children were 10, 8, 2 and an infant, I had about had it with guilt. It was like a monkey on my back and another mouth to feed. So I decided to take action to overcome it. I decided to talk with my older children. I asked them questions like, “What is important to you?” “What do you like to do with me?” “When I do something for you, what makes you happiest?”
What I heard was not necessarily what I expected. Their answers were often very simple “I am happiest when I am with you.” “I am love it when you push me high on the swing.” “I love to cuddle with you on the sofa.” “I love to go on a walk with you.”
So, I stopped imagining that I had to be Super Woman for us all to be happy and for me to feel good about myself. I began to realize that a perfectly clean house was not that meaningful to my children; they were fine if I lightened my standards around the house and instead gave them some of those extra minutes. The children were happier if I re-prioritized my work-flow to be sure that I made my little commitments to them. I also learned was that in giving those simple moments of happiness to the children, it also gave them to me.
“Balance is Impossible; Memories are Better.”
Marci Fair is a Happiness Seeker, Mother of Four, Business Owner, Charity Founder, and Author of TILT – 7 Solutions To Be A Guilt-Free Working Mom. TILT is only $1.99 today on Amazon (regularly $7.99 as a Kindle version), and the price goes up $1 per day until it is back to its regular price.
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2 thoughts on “A Surprisingly Simple Solution for Mommy Guilt”
What a simple piece of advice. I love it – and plan to try it with my own kids! Thanks!
Isn’t it great? I’m so grateful to Marci for sharing this with us.