By Bonnie
First off, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that posted supportive and insightful responses to my first-ever blog post. I really do appreciate everyone’s time, thoughts, and prayers that were said on my behalf to help me make my decision as a teacher stay at home mom.
It has been an interesting few weeks, but I think I have finally decided, I doubt my decision will surprise very many.
Drum roll please….
I have decided to stay at home. I have been through a few ups and downs since I started and though my decision makes me a little sad, it also makes me happy.
Where do I start? First, I had a conversation with my sister who is also a stay-at-home mom. She had a career, but when her son had RSV at nine months and her employer told her she needed to be at work even when her baby was severely sick, she decided she needed to do whatever she could to stay home. I understood her position, but I couldn’t relate. I couldn’t relate until now, that is.
My son wasn’t feeling well over the weekend so I decided to stay home from school and take him to the doctor. He had strep throat, something I hadn’t expected. We stayed home Tuesday, then Tuesday night my daughter had several fevers in a row so I decided to stay home Wednesday, just in case. She was okay Wednesday so I decided to go to school Thursday, that was a mistake.
My sister called at eight to tell me that I needed to make a doctor’s appointment for my daughter because she had a rash. By 8:45, the daycare had called me and told me to come get my son. The rash I had thought was from the strep turned out to be Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease. They wanted me to come get him right away. When my sister picked him up, one of the workers let slip that they’d already sent two kids home with HFM this week.
When the my sister and the daycare called me, I felt torn and I was very mad at myself. I knew my kids at school needed me, I was supposed to be working with them on inferences and drawing conclusions today and was in the middle of what I had a lot planned for them. I felt like crying at the same time because I knew that I should have been taking my daughter to the doctor and going to get my son. No matter what I did, I was letting someone down. The thing that hit me hardest, however, was that if I hadn’t been at school no one would have got sick and no one would have had to be picked up in the first place.
So currently, I am working on taking care of my sick babies and sanitizing my house to keep the germs down. The doctor recommended I keep them home for two weeks, this is the amount of time I have left on the maternity leave I have been covering at school. Though I feel bad for ditching out on the school I can’t ditch out on my kids when they need me, they come first in all things. This has been a good lesson and experience for me, despite the sadness over the sick babies.
I truly hope that no one misunderstands me or thinks that I don’t understand that some moms have to work. I know that daycare isn’t bad, I’m actually sad my son won’t get to go back, he was so excited when he got to go this morning. For my family and myself, however, I think it will be best for mommy to focus on what she does best for now and be mommy all the time.
Our guest blogger Bonnie is “just a mom.” She enjoys writing in her spare time and likes to spend as much time with her family as possible.
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13 thoughts on “The Teacher Stay at Home Mom Verdict Is In!”
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This is a timely post for me since I will be a stay at home mom starting next week. I was working full time after my second son arrived six months ago. I then tried working a few hours a day from home. But we are taking a leap of faith and I am quitting altogether. I understand the guilt, I worked at the same place for 11.5 years! I never thought this would be an option for us due to finances. But, I am excited about it and a little scared. Good luck!
Good luck to you as well, Michelle! If you can get over feeling guilty for not bringing home a little extra money it will be the best thing you ever do. I love being home with my kiddos, there will be time to work after they go to school. Cut the corners where you can and enjoy that baby. 🙂
It’s a really hard decision to make and I’m thrilled you picked the one that works best for you. If there was any other way around my working, I would have made the same choice in a heartbeat!
Honestly, I am all for bringing in a variety of perspectives, but this blog is called “Working Moms AGAINST Guilt.” I am a working mom and I come here to read posts that I find supportive. I certainly don’t come expecting to find doses of MORE guilt. Don’t we all get enough of that elsewhere? The implication here in the last paragraph is that the only justifiable reason to work is if you absolutely “have to.” Some moms choose to work for more complex reasons, and the implication that there’s anything wrong with that, or that those moms are any less devoted to their children, does not sit well with me.
“I truly hope that no one misunderstands me OR thinks that I don’t understand that some moms have to work”
I am sorry that you feel that way after reading that paragraph. That is exactly the opposite reason I wrote it. I was simply trying to convey that I understand that some moms work I was not trying to add guilt, I was trying to make it clear that I don’t feel as though moms to work aren’t good moms. I really do understand that it is a complex decision to make and there is guilt either way and would never intentionally impose that kind of guilt on another mom.
I think people need to stop being so sensitive as it is not productive at all . Everyone has to do what works for them Mothers guilt is a terrible thing but you have to control it otherwise it gets totally out of hand and you can end up spoling your children by feeling guilty. Whether you work or not it is the quality time that is important. Stop justifying and start enjoying whether it is working or stayin at home with the little ones.x
Thanks Bonnie for your post. No mother should feel guilty for working. This supports the children and is nothing to be ashamed of.
FYI I stay at home and work at the same time. I find many have found this solution to be viable. I work with this company, they are A rated with the BBB. Check them out if you wish. They pay every single Friday. Maybe this is a solution to mothers still working and also staying at home. 🙂 http://4WeeklyChecks.com
Awesome! Good for you! I stay home with my kids too. It is so important! It is a shame being a Mom is so undervalued in America. Placing a child in daycare is child neglect. A stranger will never give children the love & attention a Mother will. The Feminist movement was good in many aspects but making Motgers feel like they are not important unless they are out making money was not one of them. Children pay the price in the end. Each child deserves a Mother, or a Grandparent, to be home with them. I can see a huge difference in kids who are in daycare every day verses those who are at home with a parent. It is a real shame so many kids spend their childhood (even 6 week old babies!) im institutionalized “care”.
Also, kids would much rather have a loving parent at home every day than a new car or TV.
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I’d just like to tell Lauren Makar to fuck off. As a mom who has worked and stayed home, I can say all of my kids have been healthy, cared for and are incredibly bright. Even after spending a few year “neglected” at daycare. Go to hell.
A hard decision for every work from home mom.
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