Any working mom has her reasons for choosing her child’s childcare situation. Be it daycare, family, babysitter, nanny, I’m 98.5% sure the mom has a reason (or reasons) she’s chosen the way she has. Maybe she chose a babysitter/home care because of the cost or lower ratios; or she’s chosen a nanny so her child can stay at home. Whatever the reasons may be, Mom’s got ’em. They are her reasons to have, and not for anyone else to judge or knock. Because when you have to make the choice to put your child in someone else’s care, you are taking a huge leap of faith. And you don’t need anyone else casting doubt about the choice you’ve made.
Yet, people do.
I’m not sure.
Whenever someone asks me if my son’s in daycare, I almost immediately, involuntarily tense up. My blood pressure spikes.
Because nine times out of ten, said person will go on to make some sort of remark or ask a question about daycare. Sometimes the person is just curious and doesn’t mean any harm. I’ll answer the question and we’ll go about our business.
Sometimes they make a remark that makes my blood boil, which is not all that hard to do. I’ve had to defend my choice to put my son in daycare, justify it, quantify it so many times–to myself and others–that even a seemingly innocent remark can put me on edge. I get well, defensive.
I know the reasons people don’t like daycare facilities. Believe me, I’ve either heard them or read them.
But I have my reasons for choosing a daycare over other childcare situations. They are numerous and varied. And they are mine.
So, when I tell you my son is in daycare, don’t tell me about the study that tied daycare to behavior problems. Or when someone tells you their son is with a nanny while she works, don’t tell her about the latest case “nanny cam” case. We moms know. We were probably one of the first ones who read or watched the stories.
We, as working moms, have, or choose, to work. Our kids need to be taken care of, and we do what we think is best for them. That’s all we can do. It’s a sensitive situation all around–please don’t act like we haven’t put the utmost thought behind our decisions.