Hi, remember me? Susan? Yeah, I haven’t posted here in a while. But I hope you’ll cut me some slack — I had a baby five weeks ago.
Since then, I’ve been floating in the foggy ether of newborn parenthood. You know, only a couple of hours of sleep at a time, constant feedings and diaper changes, barely enough time to take a shower and brush your teeth … and this time, I have a 3-year-old to take care of, too. At least I still have my good friend and sitter Karen to help out with her.
During most weekdays, I take care of the baby, sleep when I can, and attempt to get something done around the house (usually lucky just to empty the dishwasher). I had forgotten how needy newborns are. They just need, need, need … to be held, fed, changed, loved. Meanwhile, Cassie gets to play and have fun with Karen and her kids, rather than hanging out with me and the baby in front of the TV all day. I feel so grateful for that. She’s handling the transition to big sisterhood beautifully, and I’m pretty sure it’s due to her time away from the newborn haze.
Evenings and weekends, it’s two kids for the price of one mom, and I just try to get by from hour to hour. I hardly get anything done, which drives me crazy. And I’ve been absolutely horrible about communicating via email, phone, blog or anything else. All I can do is keep my kids alive and hopefully not crying.
I hope that in the next month or two, the haze will begin to lift. I know this is a precious, special time and all that, but it’s also hard to feel so disconnected from my “regular life” and I look forward to being more out in the world again soon.
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5 thoughts on “The Hazy Daze of Life with a Newborn”
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I can so relate to what you are saying. I remember (about a year ago now) when I brought my baby home and was in that newborn haze. Fortunately for me I only had one to take care, no little 3 year old around. Also, I had a wonderful husband who helped out a lot. I remember when people came to visit I would simply disappear to the shower or just to my room for a moment of silence. In the beginning I told myself house work is not an option so I wouldn't get too hard on myself. Although I wanted to clean up so badly, my priorities were baby then self care you know hygene stuff. Then a clean house. Plus I had hubby, mother in law and a 12 year old. They better keep the house clean.
It’s always a pleasure to hear from someone with epexrtise.
The haze… my little girl is almost 3 months old now and it's so much easier now than it was 2 months ago. I'm nervous about how it's going to go when we have #2… and then #3? Complete chaos.
I had that haze one year ago, and now it is so much easier. My hormones have become level, my three year old knows her role and is not in flux, and my newborn is now one year old, and can entertain herself for wee bits of time. It does get easier, but now I feel guilty for wishing that this year would go faster and my little baby with her health issues would get up to one year old so I could relax a little – we never quit being hard on ourselves! But it really does get better.
Do you feel guilty because your work schedule limits your availability to your kids? Do you spoil them to try to compensate for time you're not able to spend with your children? Do you take them on expensive vacations or supply them with the newest gadgets to try to distract them from your absence? Do you pay for extracurricular activities that you wouldn't normally because it will give them something to do while you're not there?
If this sounds like your situation and you have a question for Dr. Phil – please email you're questions to at Bryan.valderrama@cbsparamount.com along with recent photos of yourself & your family . Thanks for writing Dr. Phil and thank you in advance for your response, we look forward to hearing from you!