So last week I was all “Don’t you tell me what’s what about daycare! I KNOW what’s what.”
Now I want to know: What is your “mom” pet peeve? What things do people ask of or assume about you as a working mom* that drive you batty? Have you thought of any clever, but appropriate, retorts?
*Stay-At-Home moms, feel free to speak up. We know you work, too!
“Are your kids in daycare or do they have a nanny?”
I never fail to SHOCK THEM when I reply that my husband works from home so he’s with them a lot. But we also use a home daycare and my daughter goes to preschool since he can’t actually get any work done when they’re home.
My biggest “stay-atwork” mom pet peeve is comments from other mom’s that imply my choice to work is not a choice, but rather a necessity. Yes, I agree that some mom’s have to work, however there are a great number of us who choose to work. So the implication that it’s not the best of situations or the premiere choice is offensive at times. My usual reply — “A necessity only if defined as necessary for family happiness.” I work. I’m proud of my career. I’m proud of my kids. And my family life and my kids are better off because I work!
ooo good one Tela.
My pet peeve is, now that I am preggars with my third child, people asking me: “Are you going to keep working?”
It’s annoying for 2 reasons: (1) it reminds me that I DO have to keep working full-time after the baby comes, which I would rather not do; and (2) it implies that it’s absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to work and have 3 kids.
(please tell me it isn’t!)
My pet peeve is that everyone directs their negative comments about working to me, not my husband — despite the fact that I am the primary breadwinner. They just assume that since I’m the female, I should stay home, when in fact if one of us were to stay home for economic reasons, it would be him!
Justice Fergie – I work and have three kids.
My biggest pet peeve is when people ask “Do you ‘have’ to work?”
I never know how to answer that, I want to say, “Do you ‘have’ to be a bitch?” or “Do you ‘have’ to serve your husband in order to stay home?”
Of course, I don’t have to work, I think my local trailer park has housing available, but what a waste of my education, talent and passion if I didn’t work.
My biggest pet peeve:
“you’re not working, are you?”
“Oh. But part-time, right?”
“Is he in daycare?”
Now picture a sad look on the other person’s face, implying that we have the saddest existence imaginable.
Anonymous #2–very funny. I get that a lot, too.
In addition to many other pet peeves–I love the one that implication that working from home one day is EASY. Not so much.
When are you planning the next baby?
Hi,
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Justice Fergie –
Also pregnant with #3 myself – I have had the same questions. But then again, wouldn’t dream of pulling my 4 year old and 2 year old out of preschool / daycare. They are learning so much and love to be with their friends at school! So of course I’m coming back to work – because I couldn’t afford that preschool / early education without my paycheck!
I choose to work and I can’t stand comments like ‘if you choose to have kids, you shouldn’t let someone else RAISE them.’
I honestly just don’t understand the logic behind it (besides the fact that despite working, I decide what my son eats, what he wears, how he’s disciplined, when he goes to bed, and on and on and on). Because my son spends 7 hours at daycare, I’m not raising him? I want to ask them, when our children are both in first grade, then, are their teachers raising them? Or do I get to say I’m raising mine again then? Or, can I still not say I’m raising him because I work while he’s at school?
That one just irks me!!
Justice Fergie, I do it every day (work with 3 kids).
My pet peeve is exaclty what beejo said!
Justice,
I have a friend who is a tenure track college professor and has 3 kids all under 6. Her life is wonderfully full, I think things feel a little crazy sometimes but she loves it all and her children are happy and very well-behaved.
Love this site
Thank you Beejo! I agree with you 100%. I’m totally using your words the next time someone pesters me with the “if you choose to have kids, you shouldn’t let someone else RAISE them” comment.
Mrs. VJ
Mama to a 1 year old