The other day I took a dress to an alterations shop to have it hemmed. As I got ready to leave, I caught a glimpse of myself in the shop’s full-length mirror in natural daylight, quite different from the light in my tiny bedroom at home. And I discovered that the skirt I was wearing–the skirt I wore ALL LAST SUMMER–was completely see-through!
Of course I was humiliated. But my bigger reaction was irritation that my husband hadn’t noticed and clued me in long, long ago, before the entire world got a look at my thighs and crotch. Then I realized: a good female friend would have told me right away that I was wearing the equivalent of a chiffon veil around my waist. That’s when it hit me that I am not spending enough time with other women.
I do have female friends, I just don’t hang out with them that often. Between work, kids, writing novels and trying to keep the daily operations of my household going, I have a tendency to isolate myself to just my inner circle: husband, children, co-workers, sitters, neighbors. I’ve always been somewhat introverted–I crave social contact only occasionally and am perfectly happy with my own company.
Except when I’m not.
Lately I’ve been feeling down. Not depressed, really, just weary of the grind and stress of getting through each day. My husband sympathizes, but he’s got his own work and family stuff on his mind. Plus, we sometimes are the source of each other’s stress and irritation. What I really need, it’s clear, is time with some other women to share and chat and maybe drink margaritas.
So… I’m spending this weekend at a friend’s house for a writer’s retreat and a good catching up since she and I haven’t connected in months. Then I’m going to dinner next week with another friend I haven’t seen in awhile. And I need to do better about planning girls’ nights out, going to things like book club, and basically staying connected to my female buddies. Emotionally, I feel that need. Practically, I know I need it if I want to have any hope of getting through this summer without another fashion faux pas!
Do you have a story about how much you love/appreciate/need your girlfriends? Tell us about it!
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3 thoughts on “I Need My Female Friends”
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I know there is nothing like getting together with old girlfriends from high school to cackle together and just be teenagers again
I agree that it is hard to find the time, but even harder to plan with your friends. You know one person emails 3 others and suggests a couple of dates, and people reply that their kids have soccer on Thursdays, or they have a wedding that weekend, or their husband is out of town and they can’t get a sitter, or they don’t work and want to meet at 5:30 … Then you’re back where you started. If someone else plans something I try hard to attend but it’s just so tough to be the planner. I do wish I had more “girlfriend” time but I’ve all but given up trying to organize it and so have most of my friends! Or maybe they organize things but not with me!!
Oh, I completely agree. It’s very rare to be able to get everybody together, or even plan a one-on-one sometimes!