My head is a scramble of to-do lists and tasks 24/7. Seriously, I think I check off square boxes in my dreams… it’s bad, really bad.
- the bottle recycling in the kitchen needs to go out
- the garbage is full
- Lydia’s diaper genie is full
- she has no more sleepers tonight, need to do laundry
- the floors really should be scrubbed
- oh crap, we have a birthday party Saturday and no gift
- I should really shop for a new dress for that wedding next weekend
- WEDDING! that’s another present to shop for
- the spare bedroom really should be cleaned out so it is usable space
- I never hung a single picture on Lydia’s nursery wall.. or our bedroom wall for that matter
- I should paint the hallway cabinets upstairs to match the bathroom
- remember to cancel that home warranty
- oh right the credit card is due this week!
- wait when is pay-day?
Last week we spent a week with family in Virginia Beach. We had a gorgeous beach house (that I didn’t have to clean or constantly move clutter around in!) and it was one of the most relaxing trips I have been on in a long time. I even managed to read three entire books, gasp!
The moment we arrived home last weekend, my mind was in overdrive because I felt like I was a week behind in daily tasks. There was a moment when I was changing Lydia’s diaper, she was giggling and I realized I wasn’t even paying attention to her because my mind was rattling off a to-do list like the one above. It dawned on me at that moment that I am way too task oriented. It is now to the point where I am not allowing myself to take time to appreciate the fun times with my daughter because I am always so consumed with getting stuff done. Idle time is not something I allow myself to have and when she is off playing on the floor instead of feeling like I can spend that time playing with her, I force myself to continue checking off things on my to-do list.
It feels like a double-edged sword to me because it is hard to enjoy things when I know I have a long list of things to still get done. On the other hand, if I never stop to enjoy the time I have with my daughter, won’t I regret that? What happens if the floor doesn’t get scrubbed for a month? Will the world end? Probably not. So why can’t I just let some things go?
A few months ago, I wrote a blog post about the Five Must Have Productivity Apps for the Working Mom. I use Evernote to keep track of my life on a daily basis and I am a bit more organized than even this blog post would suggest. Ultimately, I don’t think my problem is organization, I think my problem is the inability to enjoy myself until everything is complete and let’s face it, the to-do list of a mom is never complete!
I’m challenging myself to reevaluate my priorities and take specific time each day to spend enjoying my daughter and not stressing over the dishes in the sink or the floors that need to be cleaned. I challenge each of you to do the same!